Three Days Grace
by lady of arabia
Summary: Follow up to The Crying Game.Finally concluded! They're out to get rid of Walden once and for all. Sam's trapped and helpless,it's up to Dean to do what he can to buy his brother some time. He's not alone though....
1. Chapter 1

The Story So Far...

This is a follow up to my previous story The Crying Game, which I am glad a lot of you liked. You would need to read that to get the plot of this one. You seemed to especially enjoy the ending which saw Dean's softer side, so I decided to explore this further.

It's inspired by the song 'Pain' by Three Days Grace which I was listening to when I thought it up.

It's about Dean dealing with the loss of his wife. Going to bury her in Wyoming he hits the bottle and starts to remember the good times. It's full of angst but also tonnes of humour as we get to see how it feels for a Winchester to need a woman.

There is some language and some sexual reference but it's pretty tame. If you love Dean,I promise you'll like it!

There will be more to it but I'd like to know what you think...Enjoy!

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_Pain, without love,_

_Pain, I can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough,_

_Cos I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

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Two and a half years ago.

Dean nursed the bottle of beer in his hands and leisurely took a look around the bar.

_Rough crowd_

Bikers mainly but some blue collar types dotted around here and there. The only women present were the type that would require a lot more than beer to get a second glance.

_Crapsville._

Here he was again in the middle of nowhere, same crap, different town. What the hell?

"Can I get one more?" Dean asked raising the bottle.

"Sure thing." Came the gruff reply.

_Jeez, would it have killed them to put a bit of talent behind the bar? something to distract from the smell of gun oil, beer and sweat?_

Sighing he threw a note onto the bar and turned on his stool so he could scan the whole room. Tough crowd, but no Hunters, he'd bet his life on it. Taking a swig from his beer he was mid gulp when the door swung open.

His breath caught as a woman paused in the entrance, made a quick scan of the room and shrugging decided to come in anyway, like she needed a drink more than she needed a clean place to sit.

The bottle slipped from his lips and beer escaped onto his lap. Fumbling, he patted his jeans dry with his shirt cuff.

Apparently he wasn't the only one who'd noticed the entrance. Every eye turned to her, the men were open in their admiration, the women were already cutting their losses mentally.

Christ, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Someone wolf whistled as she sauntered toward the bar.

She was a looker alright and she was using it to her advantage. She was wearing a typical Midwest roadhouse uniform of jeans, biker boots and t-shirt but covering her body it may as well have been lingerie and a sign saying '_screw me'_. The tight white t-shirt had been knotted just under her breasts to reveal a tattoo below her navel.

_God I love tattoos_

Following her progress toward the bar along with everyone else, he noted how she flicked her waist length brown hair over her shoulder and licked her lips. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her. He twisted in his seat as she made her way to the bar.

She put a hand in her pocket and pulled out a ten dollar bill slipping it onto the bar in front of the man mountain who tended it.

"Beer please and change for the jukebox."

The bartender opened a bottle and placed it in front of her like he was suddenly working in the Ritz and went to give her change. Instead of dropping it unceremoniously onto the counter like he had for Dean, he placed it in her open palm and smiled.

She raised the bottle to her full parted lips and leaned back to take a swig. He could almost hear the red necks at the pool table gulping from where he sat across the room.

She took the bottle from her mouth and sighed, winking at the barman "I needed that."

Cupping the loose change in her hand she made her way to the jukebox and Dean couldn't help but watch her every move. She definately had confidence he had to give her that. She leaned into the jukebox with one hip jutted out at an angle and Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat. If he wasn't careful he was going to embarrass himself he thought pulling his shirt further over his lap.

The money went into the juke box and he could hear the whir as the machine collected her selection.

_Ok, this is the clincher. If she puts on Celine Dion, I may get some sleep tonight._

Walking back to the bar she took a stool a few along from his and smiled to herself as the opening bars of 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' by Def Lepard blasted through the air.

_Oh man, what is she doing to me?!!_

Dean groaned and hung his head.

Casting her a sideways glance he could see one of the bikers approach the girl encouraged by his buddies.

The guy was huge and covered in Harley tattoos. Wearing a leather waistcoat and with a mullet that looked like he could be a roadie for Motley Crue in the early days he wasn't exactly George Clooney.

_Dude, you better have a dick that sings Christmas Carols and takes out the garbage if you think you're in with a chance!_

Dean sat looking into his beer but kept an eye and ear on what was going on.

"Let me get your next drink." The roadie said to the hottie.

_Smooth!_

The Brunette looked up at the biker. All green eyes and innocence."Sure, why not? Do I get to play with you as well?" She gestured over her shoulder at the pool table.

"Hey babe whatever you want."

"Let's go, maybe you can teach me some tricks."

She was so seductive that Dean thought any red blooded male would have happily chewed off his own arm if she'd asked him to.

She went over to the pool table with the mullet-headed freak and he set up a new rack.

Dean was officially having a moment and would have given anything to have gotten back in the Impala and driven back to his motel room but he knew that was no longer an option.

"Hey, I'll take another." He said to the barman.

"Yeah? Think you're in with a shot?" His eyes indicated that he was talking about the new arrival.

Dean shrugged and raised his eyebrows in a 'yeah maybe' gesture.

The barman smirked and pushed another bottle in front of him.

Turning around again to face the pool table Dean was further impressed when Wind of Change came on over the speaker.

_Ah, gotta love the Scorpions_

The brunette was bending over the table taking a shot, her ass wiggling much to the amusement of her new friend. She potted the white and shrugged in a girly way. The guys all laughed. The biker patted her on the ass which pissed Dean off. "Don't worry sugar, it happens."

Dean watched as she tried valiantly but failed to win the game.

The guys were loving it.

"C'mon, gimme another chance." She pleaded. "I can't suck that bad."

The biker laughed "Sure thing. Rack 'em up boys."

The next rack went up and he saw her put her hand in her pocket. Pulling out some notes she placed them on the table. The men looked at her, amusement flashing in their eyes.

"C'mon boys, pony up, you know it ain't interesting until someone loses their shirt."

_Christ the woman had a pair of balls on her the size of watermelons_

Smirking, the biker put a wad of notes on the table and nodded at his pals who swiftly followed.

_What the hell? That must be like 500 bucks_

In a desperate attempt to appear chivalrous the biker allowed the woman to make the break. As she leaned over the table once more shaking that ass her onlookers barely noticed that she made three pockets with the first shot.

Laughing to himself Dean drained his beer and ordered another.

Moving around the table with a mixture of grace and nonchalance the woman rapidly cleared the table to the astonishment of her companions.

"What the...?" The biker was stunned as she straightened up from the last shot and leaned on her cue.

"Beginners luck?" She shrugged.

"Hell no." He was incredulous, suddenly not so smug "We play again and this time I break."

"Double or nothing?"

Narrowing his eyes the biker gestured to one of his buddies and the money went down.

_Man, don't you know when you're getting hustled?_

The biker was no longer joking and broke the next set sending an almighty crack through the room. The girl stood watching casually.

Finally the guys luck ran out and it was her turn.

Dean felt the beer hit his system and putting down his empty bottle he regretfully retreated to the john.

Feeling refreshed he came back out through the swing doors just moments later and he was hit by a palpable air of tension. Automatically he was on full alert and his eyes snapped to the pool table where he saw that things had gotten nasty.

"I won it fair and square, you don't like it Jackass then bite me."

_Shit, this can't be good_

"I ain't getting hustled by some two bit whore!" The biker was squaring up to the woman. He towered over her but she didn't back down.

Dean paused, wondering how soon he would need to get involved. There were six of the guys and a room full of red necks.

_I'm good but..._

"Honey you could get hustled by a retarded Albanian chicken farmer."

_...Oh yeah, that'll do it_

Furious the biker took a swing but too much beer and a life spent sitting on his hog made him slow and the woman easily ducked the blow. With lightening speed she swung the cue up and with an audible crunch broke his nose.

_Awwwww shit!_

One of the other guys grabbed her by the throat and threw her against the wall.

Before Dean could react he heard a strangled cry "Dean...a little help?"

_Women!_

With a roar he ran across the room grabbing an empty beer bottle along the way and vaulted over the barrier separating the pool table from the rest of the bar.

He took out the first guy he came to with the bottle but another was soon there to grab him by the shoulders. Spinning around he took a punch to the jaw but recovering quickly he countered with an uppercut making the second broken nose of the evening.

_Three down, three to go. _

He glanced up and saw that the hustler was holding her own. She had her guy by the hair and on his knees.

_Ok, maybe only two_

The next to come along was agile but not fast enough for Dean and he was going to have a hell of a headache the next day after Dean delivered a headbut and sent him crashing to the ground.

Holding his head Dean yelped.

_Hell what's a few more brain cells?_

There was just one more left but when he turned around still holding his head he saw that the last member of Motley Crue had hit the deck and had a very small foot where his windpipe should be.

There seemed to be bodies everywhere and the rest of the bar didn't seem to be taking too kindly to the two of them. When the bartender came toward them with a shotgun Dean thought it may be a good time to get the hell out of there. He obviously wasn't the only one. Grabbing his hand the girl started running.

In the parking lot they ran toward the Impala and she instinctively jumped into the passenger side.

Gunning the engine he pulled away from the bar at a screech as the barman discharged his shotgun into their tails.

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Present Day

Feeling the cell phone vibrate against his thigh he didn't have to check the display to know who it was.

Reaching into the pocket of his muddy jeans he retrieved the phone and flipped it open wordlessly.

"Dean? You there?"

"Yeah, I'm here Sammy."

He heard a relieved sigh on the line and felt bad. "I've been trying to reach you all day man. How are you?"

Taking the bottle of tequila that had been resting next to him he took a swig.

"I'm fine Sam."

"Where are you? You shouldn't be on your own."

"Sam, you gotta rest up. Don't worry about me, I'll be ok."

"You're not ok Dean, you need me. I'm coming to get you, just tell me where you are."

"Sammy no!" he almost shouted feeling bad instantly. "You've been stabbed and shot. You gotta take it easy."

"Screw that Dean, you're my brother. How would you feel? How did you feel when it was Jess and me? I need to come get you."

Taking another swig from the bottle Dean's eyes moved to the fresh grave in front of him. "I know you do Sammy but I need to be alone, just gimme three days, that's all I'm asking. Bobby's friend says you're doing ok, that you'll be better by then. Just three days and I'll come get you."

"Dean? Are you drunk?"

Taking another shot he couldn't help but laugh to himself when he thought about Sam's concern for his liver.

"Three days is all I'm asking Dude, call me if you need something but all I'm asking for is three days."

He heard Sam huff. "Ok, well you know where I am. And Dean?"

"Yeah."

"Please, I've been there. You're not to blame. It's not your fault ok?"

"I know that Sammy, but thanks. Look, I gotta go. I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, I guess."

He flipped the phone shut and stood up from the wet ground that he was sat on heedless of the cold in his bones. It was already daytime and he hadn't slept or eaten in days and he didn't need to.

Walking over to the grave he thought of Holly in the ground all alone and he felt his heart breaking all over again. Sam was hurt and Holly was dead and all because of some madman. The injustice of it made him seethe and he could feel the anger pour through his veins as though it were a physical part of him.

_How had Sam ever dealt with this, how had Dad? _

The pain was worse than any physical injury and he felt sick with guilt. All he had to do was protect her and he couldn't even manage that. She was alone most of her life with no family but him and he'd let her down. It had been a responsibility he hadn't taken lightly, joining his life with hers.He knew he underestimated her like most men did but he couldn't help wanting to look out for her and to make up for the times in her childhood when she was all alone and scared. Fact was, he'd never admitted it to her when she was alive but she'd gotten him out of more scrapes than he could remember. She'd patched him up, saved his life and although she never judged him, she kicked his ass on a daily basis with her put downs. Shit she was fun to be around,

He had been remembering that time in the biker bar when they'd gotten into the brawl. Christ, she'd blown him away. She'd faced up to six huge men without a thought, but then why would she worry when she had him looking out for her at the bar? He could still remember the bet. He didn't think she could hustle and it was like red rag to a bull. Determined to prove him wrong she'd made his life hell til he'd driven her to that goddamn bar and dropped her off in the parking lot.

He'd been so damn smug. He was the King of the hustle. Poker, darts, pool, you name it. He'd kept them both in money for months.

So they stayed in cheap motels and ate crap? He was providing like any husband would.

Hey, a woman thinks she can do better? He'd not been convinced but she'd gotten more money in two hours than he could in two weeks.

"I guess you proved me wrong didn't you Holly?"

Taking one last look at the grave he had just dug he poured the rest of the tequila into the ground, grabbed his jacket and walked away.

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"Where you going Dean?" asked Holly sitting up in bed.

"I got a tip on that girl. I found out where she worked. Some bar downtown, I'm gonna go and check it out, find out if any of her work collegues noticed anything weird about her."

"Like?"

"Oh spewing pea soup and masturbating with a crucifix, the usual." He grinned taking time out from holstering up to sit back down on the bed next to her. Taking her in his arms he kissed her.

"Hmmm, the smell of cordite always did turn me on." She laughed.

"You're one twisted woman, you know that?"

"And that's exactly why you love me."

"Whatever," But he kissed her again.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I could use a drink. Want some company?"

He squinted his eyes thoughtfully. He hated Holly coming with him when he was hunting but she'd been without a good serial case in a while and he could tell that she was itching to get back in the game. Hell, he was only going to a bar, what could possibly happen?

"Sure, but you're buying." He said kissing her again.

"You're such a tightass." She grinned kicking the sheets off and jumping out of bed.

It didn't take her long to get ready, especially when it was almost one in the morning and that's one of the things that he loved about her, he couldn't bear a woman that took hours to get ready, life's too short.

Within minutes she'd emerged from the bathroom having washed the sleep out of her eyes and put on her usual uniform of jeans and tee shirt.

_Christ it's the Hooters one I bought her for Christmas. Man, she looks good!_

"Ok, let's go!" She slapped him on the ass cheerfully and opened the door.

Pulling the Impala up against the sidewalk Dean turned off the engine and checked the screwed up piece of paper in his jacket pocket.

"Yep, this is it: Frankie's."

Looking through the window it looked nice enough, maybe a bit classy for his taste but pretty good. It didn't have a big window like most bars but he could see through the glass front door and the place was filled with chicks. Tasty bartender too.

_My kinda joint_

Holly interrupted his thoughts. "So, you're going to go and just chat to the staff? That the plan?"

"Er, yeah, not exactly rocket science, You know I have done this before right?"

Holly was smiling "Yeah, I know, I was just kinda wondering what tactics you're gonna use, you know to get them to open up."

_What the hell's her deal?_

Dean grinned..."Sweetheart one look at this face and they'll be eating out of my hand."

Holly laughed out loud.

"Hey what's so funny? Don't you think I'm a handsome devil?"

Reaching across the front seat she planted a kiss on his mouth.

"I think you're adorable, but I also know you're retarded."

"Excuse me?" He asked affronted.

Holly laughed. "Dean, when will you get a clue? It's a gay bar."

"Huh?"

"You know, a place where lesbians hang out and have a drink?"

Dean shot a glance out the window and then back at Holly.

"Awesome!"

"Yes, I know little Dean must be very happy right now but I believe that you may have to rethink your gameplan."

"Whaddya mean?"

"That the good old Winchester charm ain't gonna get you anywhere this time hon. But..." She leant forward and removed her jacket. "...there is one Winchester in this car that might be able to open Pandora's box. So to speak."

"I'm not going to let you just walk into a lesbian bar on your own!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because they're lesbians!"

"Aww that's cute Dean, but you do know I went to college right?"

Dean frowned "What does that mean??!"

Laughing she reached to open the passenger door of the Impala. "Don't worry, you're the only bitch for me Dean Winchester, now watch and learn."

She slammed the car door.

He watched as she walked towards the bar and he couldn't help but wonder at what might be going on behind closed doors.

"Man, I gotta see this."

Standing outside a bar full of women fondling each other should have been a dream come true but in reality it left him slightly uncomfortable, especially when a woman twice his size gave him the evil eye as she stepped outside,

"Hey, how ya doin?" he asked cheerfully as she found him peering around the door.

"Bite me,"

_Charming. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea_

Undeterred he carried on watching as Holly worked her way through the throng and reached the bar. A few eyes turned her way and he felt a surge of pride.

_Hey, if a guy hit on my girl I'd cap his ass but a chick...woooo bring it on!_

He saw her chatting to one of the bartenders, a tall blonde with a body to die for.

Even though they were busy at the bar, he saw that Holly looked like she was deep in conversation with the bartender. He'd talked to her about his case and he knew she was smart but he couldn't help but wonder if she was asking the right questions, after all, you didn't mess with demonic possessions.

The blonde said something to her collegue who was a tattooed Korean in overalls that Dean assumed had turned to lesbianism because she terrified any man within a ten mile radius. Kull the conqueror nodded and said something back to the blonde, which he assumed was a go ahead for her to take a break.

The blonde ducked under the bar hatch and took Holly by the hand leading her to the dancefloor.

Dean had to step back suddenly as the door reopened letting loose a gaggle of drunk women who laughed at him as they walked past, obviously assuming he was a pervert. Trying to seem casual he could hear the strains of Sophie B Hawkins coming from the bar.

As soon as the door closed he assumed sentry duty. Scanning for Holly he caught sight of her.

_NO WAY!_

His life had been crappy at times but he'd had some high points. Being given the Impala, succesfully completing a solo hunt and dealing with his first gunshot wound had been moments to treasure. They all paled in comparison though when he spotted Holly slow dancing with the tall Scandanavian chick.

With wide eyes he watched as they moved slowly with the music, the blonde bending slightly to whisper something in his wifes ear.

He was in awe. How had he snagged such a cool girl? And did she have any idea how laid she was getting tonight?

His mind was in turmoil, hardly processing the fact that when the song finished the blonde ran a hand over Holly's hair and gave her a long kiss.

_Holy Mother of..._

Job done, He saw Holly say goodbye to the hot Blonde and then make her way to the door.

Opening it she walked past without a glance in his direction.

"Close your mouth Dean, you'll swallow a fly."

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The screeching of a bird woke him up.

He'd been dreaming about those crazy ass lesbians in Dallas and he was reluctant for the images in his head to fade.

With his eyes closed he couldn't remember where he was or what had happened. Then in an instant reality came crashing in around him as he recalled the last two days of his life.

Opening his eyes he sat up. He was still in the Impala, hadn't bothered getting a motel after the trauma of having to bury Holly. How could he?

He stank of stale tequila and dirt but he didn't care.

Rubbing his face with his hand he thought of Sam and how he was. How could he just abandon his brother like that when he was hurt?

He was ashamed but also knew he'd do the same again if he had to.

After the run in with Craven he'd put Holly's lifeless body in the backseat of the car and tried his best to stem the bleeding from Sam's wounds. God, Sam, that was the only reason he'd been able to stay sane after what had happened. Concern for his little brother had put him on the phone to Bobby.

That was a conversation he never wanted to repeat. How do you tell the man you most respect in the world that you managed to get your wife killed and your brother hurt?

Bobby knew better than to judge and had taken control of the situation giving him the name of a contact less that a hundred miles away who was capable of fixing Sam up and being discreet about it.

Dean had held it together pretty well all the way there because of his concern for Sam but once he had made sure that he was settled and well taken care of he wasted no time in high tailing it out of there.

He'd had to drive carefully, didn't want to attract any attention when he had a body in the back seat. It had taken him most of the day but he had finally arrived.

Bobby had told him about a cemetary in Wyoming created by the family of a Hunter on a remote plot of land. The thought that there was somewhere to anonymously bury Hunters had disturbed him but he had to admit now that it was a good idea. Without sleep or food in what seemed like days he shrugged off the fatigue and set to digging the hole.

Putting her into the hole had been almost as hard as watching her die but there was no relief for him when it was over and he had been glad of the numbing effect the tequila had on him as he watched the sun go down. He had no stone to mark the grave so eventually he had fashioned a cross himself, painstakingly carving her name into it.

Now, sat in the car nearby he wondered where he went from here. He couldn't go back yet, not in this state but he had nowhere else to go and he realised for the first time of just how pathetic his life was.

It had been bad enough when Holly had left him, but then after he had gone to get Sam from Stanford and they had hit the road he had felt better about things, he had a purpose. That was gone now. If he couldn't protect Holly and Sam from a random human then what chance did he have of successfully completing their crusade of hunting evil?

His mind couldn't focus on anything but the past. Memories of the times they'd had together, even the fights which were so damn frequent haunted him. He thought he would go mad with it, there was definately no way in hell that he could think about the future. He needed to collect his thoughts and pull himself together before he went back to Sam. Dean couldn't let his kid brother see him like this.

His mind wandered unbidden to a cheap hotel in New Orleans when a hunt he thought he was over with came back to haunt him. Holly and he weren't married yet, had been too busy hunting to see each other much and he had missed her like hell.

Turning the key in the ignition he drove away in search of a drink.

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New Orleans had seemed such a good idea at the time but during the worst heatwave they'd seen in thirty years, Dean thought it was damn near unbearable.

He'd been there for a week investigating a series of mysterious deaths. Four people had come down with sudden ailments and had later died in hospital leaving doctors baffled. One guy had gone mental before shooting his wife, another was struck down by a wasting disease that would normally develop over years, the third was a woman who got a really gross skin problem. Man that had been rough! The last one before Dean could stop it had been another man who had simply fallen into a coma for no reason. After a lot of digging it was evident that he was dealing with a voodoo curse and he had identified the source to be the delivery of flowers to their home or work place. The connection was a business deal gone sour. Luc Truffaut had been sufficiently pissed off that he had hired a voodoo witch doctor to do his dirty work for him. After paying Truffaut a little call with a tire iron and some gentle persuasion Dean had gotten the address and headed down to the waterfront in a seedier part of town.

He found the witch doctor who wasn't going to go down without a fight but he had managed to dispatch him without too much trouble. Job done.

Now he was finished he longed to leave for somewhere cooler he thought to himself as he sat in the dusty, airless hotel room. The air conditioning was shot to hell and he was struggling to cope with the oppressive atmosphere, he couldn't leave town though as he was waiting for Holly to join him for a couple of days. She'd never been to the city and had always wanted to come. He wasn't convinced the room would make it a pleasurable experience but she wasn't the type to complain about stuff like that.

Flicking through the channels on TV he threw the remote down when he hit on an adult channel and smiled to himself.

_Ha! Things are looking up_.

Going to the fridge in the small kitchen he retrieved a beer, unscrewed the top and with a sigh he crashed onto the bed to enjoy 'Kitty's House of Pain'.

Half an hour later there was a knock at the door and he stood up to check the spy hole. Grinning he opened the door and Holly launched herself at him. Thinking fast he caught her to him and she wrapped her legs around his waist before landing a rain of kisses on his face.

Kicking the door shut he turned and staggered into the room.

"I take it you missed me then?" He laughed.

Looking down at him she smiled. "You have no idea!"

Secretly he was really happy to see her too. It had been a long few weeks since they had last seen each other but it wasn't his style to be mushy and she knew that. Despite this he didn't make any effort just yet to set her on the ground and he was really enjoying the feeling of her ass in his cupped hands.

Looking over his shoulder, she did a quick scan of the room.

"Beer and porn Dean? You know how to make a girl feel special."

Dean quickly turned on the spot so she was facing away from the TV.

"That's not porn," he shrugged. "That's the history channel...ancient torture techniques. It's research, you know."

Holly laughed, kissing him once more and hopping out of his clutches

"You're so full of shit Dean. So next time you face up to a Chupacabra, you gonna put on a gimp mask and spank him with a feather duster?"

"Yeah, maybe." He quickly turned off the TV and went back to the fridge where he retrieved a beer for Holly.

"Everything go ok in Florida?" He said tactfully changing the subject.

She shuddered involuntarily. "That was one twisted mother but we got him."

"They're all twisted. I dunno how you do it."

She took a long swig of beer and he tried to control himself when she pressed the cold bottle to her throat.

"It was kids though."

That was enough to take the wind out of his sails. "I don't think I wanna know do I?"

"Best not, I did get you a present though."

He grinned sitting on the edge of the bed eagerly.

She placed the bottle of beer on the coffee table and unhooked a small knapsack from her shoulders.

"I told you I got a waitressing job while I was in Tampa?"

"Yeah, you get some good tips?"

"Oh yeah." She opened the bag and pulled out something orange.

He was puzzled for a moment until she unfolded the garment and pressed it to her. He stood up quickly, his throat going dry.

Dean was serious as cancer. "Don't toy with me woman. You were a Hooters girl?!"

Holly laughed. "Sure was. And I got the whole uniform here. You want me to put it on?"

Dean's eyes were on stalks. "Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back? Hell yeah!"

Winking Holly turned on her heel and went into the bathroom to change.

Dean sat down with a satisfied smile and drank his beer.

Moments later she emerged in the tight white vest and orange shorts, she even had the little white sneakers. Dean gulped and Holly struck a pose in the doorway.

"You know, you're officially the coolest chick ever!" He said walking towards her wide eyed. Holly squealed with delight when he hoisted her onto his shoulder and went back to the bed throwing her down roughly. Taking off his tee he looked up at the ceiling offering a silent prayer of thanks to an unknown God, "No magic fingers for Dean tonight!" he cried hurling himself on top of her.

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In another hotel room a lifetime away Dean had swapped the beer for whiskey direct from the bottle and there was no porn and no Holly, just the shell of a man.

He sniffed and took a long pull on the bottle. God he was wasted and he still couldn't stop his mind from replaying the past.

His eyes were glazed and he still stank but slumped in the chair at that moment he couldn't have cared less.

They'd been so happy that day, they'd fooled around all afternoon but finally they got so hot that they retreated to a cold shower where they stayed until their skin wrinkled, just enjoying being with each other.

Dean had been with some pretty cool girls in his time but Holly was by far the best and as far as he was concerned always would be.

Drinking more he recalled how after a day spent in bed and in the shower he couldn't imagine how it could have possibly gotten any better but it did when Holly cooked the most amazing meal. It was rare that he ever got a home cooked meal now but back then he always made sure that he had a kitchen when she was there. God, her roast chicken was unbelievable he thought to himself with a smile. Almost as good as the sex.

At the end of the night they had taken a walk. He had his arm round her and felt the most regular guy in the world. Damn he was even unarmed!

There was no indication then of how quickly that would change.

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Dean awoke slowly, it was still hot and his naked body was covered in a thin film of sweat that made the crisp white sheet stick to him uncomfortably. He patted the other side of the bed and groaned. Holly was up already. She was always up early whereas he could sleep all day when he didn't have a case. He would have loved to roll over right now and have his way with her. Maybe when she came back he thought.

Sighing he kicked off the covers and made his way to the shower. Passing the coffee table he saw she'd left a note.

_Gone for breakfast. Love you_

Walking into the bathroom he stood in front of the mirror turning to check out his abs, he gave his reflection a wink. _Who the hell could blame her for loving you stud?Ha!_

He took a cold shower but couldn't be bothered to shave. Pulling on jeans and boots, he left his shirt off. Too damn hot!

He looked at the clock on the wall. _Where the hell did she go for breakfast? Oregon?! _

There was a knock on the door and Dean went to open it expecting it to be Holly. He was embarrassed when he found it was the old guy from the front desk. Holding up a hand apologetically he disappeared for a second and grabbing a grey tee he pulled it quickly over his head.

"You with the brunette? The stunner in the shorts?" The old man asked.

Dean had no idea what Holly was wearing but he smiled when he thought of those orange shorts. "That's me."

"Someone just took her." He said simply, actually looking quite bored as he did.

"What?!"

"Saw it myself, she was coming back with groceries, this banged up car pulled up, guy gets out, hits her and puts her in the car."

Dean's heart almost stopped but his mind was racing. _What the hell?!_

"Did you see the guy? What did he look like?"

Dean had turned back to the room and was throwing his belongings into his duffle bag.

"Yeah, sure did, big black man, scary. Had those things..."

"Huh?"

"You know, like Bob Marley."

"Dreads?" Dean paused. _How was that even possible?_

"Yeah, that's it. They sped out of here no more'n five minutes ago. Woulda been here sooner but I ain't as young as I used to be and those stairs..."

Dean grabbed his automatic and releasing the magazine he checked it, banged it against the butt and with the heel of his hand reinjected it. He turned around to see the man looking at him quizzically. "You call the cops?"

"Uh uh, came straight here."

"Good, cos I am a cop. Listen man, thanks. I'll take it from here."

Shouldering his bag he made to leave the room slamming the door behind him he was halfway down the corridor when he heard.

"But you're paid up for three days!"

Ignoring him Dean was already flying down the stairs two at a time.

Out on the sidewalk he saw a paper sack of groceries on the ground where they had been dropped. He took a second to pause, the sun beating down on a smashed carton of eggs almost cooking them on the spot. His heart hammered wildly in his chest and his head hurt.

Ignoring the dull ache he fumbled for his sunglasses as he turned the corner and found the Impala in the shade of the alleyway next to the hotel.

Parked just behind him he saw Holly's red Corvette. Spurred on by the lonely sight he jumped in his car and roared away.

His mind was reeling. He knew who had taken her and where she was likely to be but he couldn't quite believe it. _I killed that guy_, he thought to himself. _Saw him with my own two eyes take a bullet to the brain. Dead as a doornail. What the hell was he doing snatching my girlfriend in broad daylight?_

Dean drove the Impala towards the waterfront. He had no idea what was going on and with a pang he realised he missed his Dad and Sam. There was no time for research and he had no clue what he was dealing with. Spirits don't just take people in the middle of the street and they don't go around by car. He'd heard the legends of zombies but wasn't that in Haiti? Could he be dealing with the living dead? If so, how the hell do you kill that? His head was hurting even worse and he squinted his eyes through the windscreen straining to focus. What's up with that? He paused to think as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Dean, how the hell are you son?"

"Hey Bobby, listen, I don't have much time. What do you know about Zombies?"

"Are you serious? You're hunting a Zombie? Where are you?"

"I'm in New Orleans. I dunno what the hell that thing is, all I know is I killed the dude two days ago and now he has Holly." His speech was coming out in bursts as he dodged cars. The headache was getting steadily worse.

He heard rustling in the background and could imagine Bobby rummaging through his dusty old books. "Ok son, calm down. You'll get her back. OK, here it is. Ok so a Zombie comes from the Kongo word nzambi which means 'God' It's usually a dead person who is reanimated by bokor which is a powerful voodoo sorcerer. The reason is usually to get revenge on whoever killed them."

"Great! You ever heard of them actually existing?"

"There have been whispers, rumours but nothing on this Continent. You'd be the first Dean."

"Lucky me. Any idea how to kill it?"

"Doesn't say, decapitation's gotta be a safe bet though."

"Thanks Bobby, I'll call you later."

"Oh and Dean,"

"Yeah?"

"Watch yourself. Whoever reanimated the guy is working some pretty powerful magic. They're gonna be gunning for you. Are you sure you wanna go in on your own?"

"Haven't got a choice Bobby, I'm all she's got. Listen thanks, I'll let you know how it goes."

Flipping the phone shut he was getting near to his destination. The warehouse when he saw it looked no better in the daytime than it had when he had been there the other night. Abandoned long ago it cut a desolate figure on the old docks.

Getting out of the car he went round to open the trunk, his eyes swimming. Taking off his glasses he felt the sun hit them and he groaned. He didn't need this. Propping open his arsenal he wondered what he'd need. Grabbing a machete he swung it to his left shoulder. His automatic was still in his waistband but he picked up a couple of extra magazines and stuffed them into his back pockets. Finally palming a flashlight and checking that it was working he was ready.

Slamming the trunk down he looked up at the warehouse which was slightly blurred. "Bring it on bitch!" He muttered striding over to it confidently.

The warehouse was gloomy but he'd staked it out the previous week and was quietly confident Holly would be somewhere on one of the lower floors. _Shoulda torched the place when I had the chance_.

Making his way through the ground floor with the gun stretched out in front of him he ignored the pounding in his head.

He made it to the metal staircase and everything went dark.

_Shit!_

Grabbing the torch he flicked it on. Nothing. Banging it against his hand he felt the batteries rattle and frowned. _What the...?_

Then it hit him.

_Goddamn voodoo whack job!_

They knew that he'd come for Holly, they just didn't want to fight fair and had blinded him with a spell. He waved a hand in front of his face experimentally. Nothing. Sighing he considered his options. Should he leave, try to get help? Thinking furiously he decided that a blind Dean was better than no Dean at all. Besides, he would have to break the spell before he could regain his sight. He'd staked out the joint and was pretty sure that he could find his way round the place. He just prayed that Holly wasn't hurt, he wouldn't be in much of a position to protect her if she was.

Taking a breath he held the gun up in his right hand and leaned that side of his body against the wall. Straining his ears for every sound he slowly made his way down the stairs trying to be as quiet as possible.

At the bottom he laid out the basic floor plan in his head. Two ways to go, left or right. Keeping to the wall he moved very slowly to his right trying not to let his breathing interfere with his hearing. He knew that after a few metres there was a smaller room coming up, the boiler room he remembered. How many steps were there? Two? Three? He'd soon find out he thought grimly.

Feeling his way carefully he found the doorway and ran his had along the metal frame.

_God this sucks!_

Inching his way forward with his right foot he descended three stairs.

Lurching into the abyss he barely had time to catch himself before he heard a big crash as he fell into a steel drum.

_That'll be four steps then_

As the clamour died down he shook himself and stood up. Tensing, he heard a whispered voice coming out of the blackness surrounding him.

"Jesus Dean! You wanna be any louder? I think there's someone in Guatamala that didn't quite hear you!"

"Holly?! You ok? Where are you?" He hissed.

"I'm right here dumbass, come and untie me!"

"Easier said than done." He muttered under his breath.

He stumbled again as he tried to locate where her voice was coming from. Somewhere near the floor he'd guess but with the echoes in here it was hard to tell.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

He sighed, exasperated with the woman already. "I can't see ok?"

"What?!" She exclaimed in a stage whisper.

"That Rasta freak must have put some mojo on me. I can't see. Now, tell me where the hell you are."

She didn't say as much but he could tell she was seething at his piss poor rescue attempt. She didn't like him in danger any more than he liked her being tied up by a voodoo Bob Marley.

"Walk straight ahead, three yards, I'm sitting on the floor tied to a pipe."

"You still wearing those shorts?"

Holly yelped painfully as he stood on her. "Don't you know what a yard is?"

Dean put the gun into the front of his jeans. "I swear woman, I should just leave you here."

Squatting down, he reached out in front of him and felt a knee. Moving up he felt over her body. She seemed in one piece.

"My hands are about two feet north of there Dean!"

_Worth a try_

Sighing he reached up running his hands up her slender arms until he could find the ropes on her wrists, he began to untie her.

As he managed to get her free he heard a sound behind him.

Like lightening he felt a hand go to his pants and remove the gun with a tug,

Another small hand went to the nape of his neck and pulled him off his feet. "Down, Dean!"

The sound of the shot was deafening under the ground and his ears rang as he felt Holly extract herself from beneath him and jump up. Dazed, he got to his feet. "You get him?"

"Yeah, for what it's worth. He ran off again. What the hell is he?"

Dean shrugged. "A zombie. C'mon we have to go cut his head off and break the spell he has on me, I think we need to find his altar and destroy it. Oh, and watch out for the bokor. That's a witch doctor" He added helpfully as he put out his hand for the gun.

He thought he should be glad that he couldn't see the look on her face.

"Number one, you're deluded if you think I'm giving you a gun. Number two, what!? We have to get the hell out of here and call for backup."

"No way, we have to get this sucker now, I can't stay blind! Now gimme the gun and hold my hand."

Sighing she took his hand but kept a tight hold of the gun. "C'mon Helen Keller, let's go get you a zombie."

She led the way out of the boiler room and bypassing the stairs they continued on in the basement to where she had seen him run. Dean tried not to stumble but her grip on him was solid and she kept him from falling.

When they got to the other wing of the buiding he couldn't hear anything.

"See him?"

"Oh shit." she said under her breath.

_I'll take that as a yes..._

Before he could react he felt a gust of wind on his face and with a whoosh Holly's hand was wrenched from his. Hearing a crash he raised the machete in his hands.

"You ok?!?"

He heard a groan from somewhere behind him.

"He's coming up to you. Two o'clock!" She shouted.

He spun the huge blade in front of him.

"Your _other_ two o'clock Dean!"

Too late, he was sidelined by the weight of the big witch doctor and knocked to the ground. He braced his arm against the zombie's chest and tried to fend him off. Saliva dropped onto his cheek. "Gross!"

He heard the sound of metal against concrete and a loud thwack before a shower of blood rained down on his face. The dead weight of the Zombie fell on him. Panting he pushed him off and stood up wiping at his face.

"He dead? Again?"

"Well if he isn't he's gonna have a problem wearing hats for a while. See anything yet? How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Nah, I got nothin'"

"Good, cos it wasn't my fingers I was flashing."

"Huh?!"

Ignoring him she bent to pick up the gun. She was fully armed now. He felt her tug at his shirt and with the bottom she wiped some of the gunk off his face.

"Gettoff! What are you? My mom?"

Sighing, she took his hand. "Sometimes I wonder Dean."

They had checked all of the basement but found no sign of an altar.

"What now?" She asked.

Rubbing his face, he was getting really frustrated with himself. Thinking hard, he had a thought. "When I looked at the plans last week there was an outbuilding, somewhere they used for offices. I never went there cos the dude was lying up in here."

She had a fire under her. "Ok, let's go!"

Guiding him slowly she led him back up to the empty ground level. Seeing a door at the far rear corner she made her way over.

Hearing a rattle, she turned to him. "Padlock."

Now this was something he could do with his eyes closed, he thought reaching into his pocket to get his lock picking tools.

Whilst that kept him occupied, he felt her remove one of the magazines from his back pocket and with a quick series of movements she'd reloaded.

_Damn she's getting good_

The door swung open and the sun poured in but to Dean it was just a flash of white light and the searing heat on his face.

"Ok, I see the office. Bingo. There's someone in there."

Taking his hand again she was silent as they took a few steps. She pulled him into a crouch as they approached. Stopping on his haunches he leant against the wall, his balance off. He felt Holly move next to him, probably looking through the window. Next to him again, he could feel the warm breath on his face.

"Ok, we got your baker."

"Bokor." He corrected.

"Whatever, we got the altar and some guy wearing a really gross animal skin. It's all bones and blood and stuff, I can't believe you think my job is twisted!"

"Ok, now I don't want you taking any risks so I'm gonna distract him and then you shoot him."

"Will that work?"

"You got a better idea?"

"Feather duster?"

He laughed inspite of everything and felt her hand cover his. "Sorry for giving you a hard time. You're one crazy idiot Dean."

"Takes one to know one. Ok, where's the door? I'll go in high, you come in low and shoot. Got it?"

He heard the click of the safety going off in response. Turning around he felt for the door and was just about to go when he heard a thud. What now?

"Holly?"

He could hear a gasp. Crouching down again his hands found her lying on the floor. "Holly? What's wrong?!"

She was struggling to breathe. "My heart...shit... it feels like there's a vice around it."

His hands went over hers to where they were clasped to her chest. He felt the gun and took it from her grasp.

"I'm going to get him ok?"

"Not...alone...stupid!"

Ignoring her Dean stood up and without hesitation he felt for the door. Opening it the musty smell of herbs washed over him. He could hear the Bokor chanting. The heat was overwhelming and Dean felt sweat trickle down his back. Now or never. He tried to concentrate on the sound of the voice and let off a shot.

_Missed, dammit_

From behind him, he heard Holly "He's facing you Dean...aim up...slightly to the left...shit...too far...stop. Ok go!"

He felt like one of those crazy arcade games as he fired the gun four times in quick succession.

The air cleared.

"You got him..." he heard her sharp intake of breath. "...altar...shit...shit...shit..."

"Where? Goddamn it?" he made his way across the room and found the makeshift altar. Tensing his muscles he flipped it over and stomped hard on anything that he could find. His energy was gone and the heat overtook him. Sliding down the nearest wall, he collapsed on his ass exhausted closing his eyes, breath coming in rasps.

After a moment she came to him. Opening his eyes, he felt suddenly a million times better upon seeing her again.

Cupping her face he turned it to the light and frowned at the bruise on her jaw. Then suddenly grinning "I knew you were wearing those shorts. Ha!"

She pulled his hand away with a roll of her eyes. "Nice moves Winchester..." She stood up and helped him to his feet, pulling his arm over her shoulder for support. "...but you pull anything like that again and I won't be responsible for my actions."

"I had things under control."

"Yeah? Cos from where I was standing it looked like you were getting your ass kicked."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She hadn't been wrong when all said and done, he thought as he shook the empty whiskey bottle and let it drop to the floor at his feet. He wouldn't have made it without her. Not that he ever would have admitted to it. What amazed him most was that she never panicked, didn't scare easy. He'd seen her in some tight jams and, sure she'd been hurt too but never on his watch, he wouldn't allow it.

They had just been so in synch back then, she could read his mind and he thought he could read hers though she always ended up surprising him on a daily basis. Like when he found out she could speak French, or when she won 350 bucks in a karaoke bar.

_Bonnie Tyler, good times..._

Perhaps the reason it'd all gone sour this time was that after two years apart they had lost their mojo, that spark that kept them ticking. Sure, he still loved her and he knew now that she had never given up on him, but how could he not blame himself for not protecting her in the end?

She'd told him it wasn't his fault and so had Sam but there was no way he could believe that. They'd vowed never to leave each other and they'd both broken their promises thanks to this stupid goddamn job. Ha! The job.

He thought of Sam with a knife in his leg and a bullet to his shoulder expecting his big brother to look out for him, to take the pain away. That's what was expected from him and he always delivered. Always. How would he ever have the confidence now? He'd messed up in the worst way possible and it was those close to him that paid the price, Dad, Sam and now Holly. He was a curse to all those he came into contact to. Sure, Sam, had lost people too but it wasn't his job to look out for everyone, it was Deans. That was his destiny and without it, he was nothing.

Dean stood up on shaky feet, swaying slightly he went to the bathroom and leaning over the sink he splashed some water on his face.

Looking up he caught sight of his reflection.

Leaning forward he took in the bags under his red-rimmed eyes, the white crust in the corner of his dry mouth and the five day growth of beard. Suddenly his eyes filled with tears and raising his hand he slammed a fist into the mirror.

Ignoring the broken shards of glass and the blood dripping from his balled hand, he sank to the floor and burying his face in one arm he began to cry.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm bored." He said looking out the windscreen to the tail of the red Corvette ahead.

He heard a laugh over the phone. "You sound like a petulant child Dean. What you listening to?"

"He could see her looking in the rear view mirror. "Metallica, you?"

"Destiny's Child. And before you say it Dean, bite me!"

He laughed and said it anyway "Chick music."

They had left New Orleans and were driving aimlesly through Louisiana heading in the general direction of Oklahoma. There was no hunt and nowhere special to go, and he hated it. He needed some excitment in his life and the way he saw it, the only thing remotely exciting at the moment was driving the car in front. How could she be so close he could see her but still miss her?

"So what do ya wanna do? We can stop off in the next town and have a beer or five?"

"Nah, let's just carry on to Vegas."

She snorted. "That's all the way across the country Dean! Why'd you wanna go to Vegas? There a gay revue you wanna see?"

"Very funny, no the Little White Chapel."

"And what's there? You wanna exorcise the ghost of Elvis?"

"That's blasphemy! No, I just thought we could go. The two of us, maybe hook up with Bobby."

"Dean, it's too far. We can find a casino in Texas if you want a game of craps and a two dollar steak dinner so bad."

He sighed, exasperated. "Woman, I swear you'll be the death of me, can't you just shut up and let a guy propose?"

He watched as the car in front swerved dangerously on the empty road. Dropping the phone he hit the brakes "Jesus!!" The Corvette spun one eighty and came to a stop facing him in the middle of the road. Holly looked white as a sheet and was clutching the steering wheel in one had and the phone in the other.

Opening the door to the Impala he got out and trotted over to the other car. Yanking the door open he leaned in.

"What the hell you trying to do Holly? Get yourself killed?"

She was staring blankly through the windscreen ignoring his outburst. Slowly she started moving and got out of the car.

"What did you say?"

Dean was fuming, "I said, are you trying to get yourself killed Colt Severs?"

"Before that?"

He looked at her and shrugged. It was so much easier on the phone.

_Awkward_

"Did you ask me to marry you?"

"Well, errr, I..."he stuttered.

_God, I am such a retard_

Holly spun on her heel and started pacing the highway.

"Where did that come from? I mean you've never mentioned it before! What the hell?!"

Stopping, she bent down resting her hands on her knees head low down. Her breath was coming in big heavy gulps.

_This can't be good_

"You ok?" He asked feebly shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Just...gimme...a...sec..." She held up a finger without looking at him.

Still fighting for air she eventually straightened and looked at him, her face flushed.

"Is this your way of stopping me from hunting?"

Dean leaned on the bonnet of her car. _Was it?_

"No, I dunno, it was just a thought."

"It's not just a thought Dean, this is a feeling. You either want to do it or you don't."

"I guess then that I do."

"What?"

_Was she going to make him beg? Christ!_

He shrugged, hands still buried in his pockets. "Yes, I want to marry you. Satisfied?"

There was a tug at the corner of her mouth but she tried to control herself. "How would that even work? I mean, we don't have a home and our jobs take us all over the country."

Dean knew he'd won but he also knew she needed some reassurance. Sighing he stood up and went to her, taking her by the waist.

"I don't know about you but, I don't need a home as long as you're with me and for the rest we'll work it out. We'll hunt together, I think we'd make a pretty good team."

"So, if I had to hunt, you'd come with me and cook my food and wash my clothes?"

"Maybe not, but I can do plenty of other stuff."

"Like?"

_Christ she's impossible!_

He bit his lip thinking then raising his eyebrow with a smirk. "I know one thing I can do that you like, huh?"

That was the clincher.

Putting her arms around his neck she screamed then letting him go she kissed him.

"Is that a yes to Vegas then?" He laughed.

"You got yourself a deal Winchester, now let's get out of here and go celebrate."

After hopping back in their cars they stopped in the nearest town they could find that had a gas station, motel and roadhouse. Following a couple of hours spent christening the most garish motel room in history they hit the bar.

A little while later they were on their second beer and had the remnants of two burgers sat in front of them.

While she was so happy, Dean thought it a good time to broach another prickly subject.

"Ya know, if we're gonna be doing this, there's no point in having two cars." he smiled

She eyed him suspiciously over her bottle as she swigged her beer.

"Hmmm What you getting at Dean?" There was menace in her voice now.

_Jeez she's scarier than half the stuff I hunt_

He shrugged trying to sound casual. "I was just thinking that maybe we only need one car and seeing as mine has more trunk space..."

Her beer bottle hit the table with a clunk and he actually flinched.

"I am not selling the Corvette, forget it."

"Holly, c'mon, it's just a car."

"Fine, you're right so we'll sell the Impala."

He laughed and then realising from her face that she was serious stopped immediately. "No chance. The Impala stays."

"But it's just a car right Dean?"

He was getting nervous. "Yeah, well, it's still a car with extra trunk space."

She let out a deep breath and sat back in her seat.

"Wow, barely four hours since you proposed and I already want a divorce, that's gotta be a record!"

Mirroring her body language on his side he shrugged. "So what do you suggest?"

"I'll fight you for it."

"Are you crazy? I'm not fighting you"

"Why? Scared I'll beat you?"

_God, she's serious_

"You wish! No but a contest isn't a bad idea. We can think of some other way of settling this."

Leaning forward, she was suddenly interested. "Like what? We're both too good at poker,it could last all night and if you put a dart in my hand right now I'd probably stab you with it."

Dean frowned at her uncomfortably then had an idea.

"Why don't we go to the motel and hit the sack? The first one to, you know..." he said winking "...wins."

"Christ Dean, gimme a competition where I at least stand a shot of winning. That's like me challenging you to a dance off!"

"What? I have skills!"

"What you have Dean is the self control of a two week old puppy. Especially after a few of those." She pointed at the beer.

"I'm offended!"

"Look I got no complaints but we both know you were built for speed and not for stamina,"

He shrugged conceding defeat. "So what does that leave? A pie eating contest?"

"Again, Dean, I need to be in with a chance here."

They both sat back in silence.

One of the barmaids passed their table and Holly stopped her.

"What can I get ya?"

Holly's eyes never left Dean's face. "Two shots of tequila, and you can leave the bottle."

Dean's eyebrows shot up as the waitress walked off. "You're challenging me to a drinking contest? Ha! You're more whacked out than I thought. You're so going down."

She cocked a brow. "That part of the deal too?"

He laughed as the waitress put down two shot glasses and a bottle of Jose. He filled their glasses and raised a toast. "To the Impala, and going down."

She smiled "To the Corvette and to you eating your words, amongst other things!"

Their glasses clinked.

Six hours later Dean was carrying Holly over his shoulder across the parking lot of the motel. Staggering badly himself he struggled to unlock the door. She was out cold and he wasn't surprised, christ she could drink he thought admirably. Crashing on the bed next to her he didn't even remove his jacket before falling into a deep dreamless sleep.

The following day, walking into the room Dean removed his sunglasses and squinted, christ that hurts!

Holly was lying on the bed face down, she had showered but had gotten straight back into bed earlier with a groan. The fact that she hadn't welched on their bet had made him love her even more and he felt really bad about the way she must be feeling.

A muffled sob came from the pillow.

"Did you do it?"

Dean took off his jacket and went to the bed. She sat up holding the sheet to her, her face streaked with tears. He handed her a coffee and sat next to her pulling her to him.

In the time that he had known her he had seen her banged up, tied up and facing up to some major crap but this was the first time he'd ever seen her cry. Hell, if he'd had to sell the Impala he would have cried too.

"I got a real good deal."

She sniffed, making a face that indicated she would have happily traded him in for a push bike at that moment in time.

"You know what might cheer you up?"

She eyed him through bloodshot slits.

"There's a vamp terrorising Denver. Wanna see me kill it?"

She sniffed again wiping a tear away. "I guess."

"That's my girl, c'mon, let's hit the road. I'll even let you pick the music."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dean was snapped out of his reverie by the phone buzzing in the next room.

Staggering to his feet he dragged his body through to the bedroom ignoring the drops of blood his cut up hand made in his wake.

Checking the display as he slumped in the chair he wondered whether or not he should take the call.

_I owe him that much_

"Hey Bobby" It was the first time he had spoken in hours and even he was amazed at the harsh rasp of his voice.

"Dean, how ya doin? Listen, your brother's worried about you. Come home."

"I don't have a home Bobby, not anymore."

"I know you're hurting but Sam is too. He needs you."

"I can't right now Bobby, maybe tomorrow. But not now. How is Sammy?"

Bobby sighed,"Physically he'll be fine but...this ain't good for anyone. You should be with people who care about you, your family."

Dean rubbed at his face. "I appreciate it Bobby, I do but I just want to be on my own."

"Drinkin' ain't the answer Dean."

"Yeah well, it's the only way I know how to deal. I'm not strong like Sam."

"If you think he's stronger than you then you should see him now boy. Look, I'm back home now, I got Sam here with me and we'll wait for you..." he paused."There's something else Dean."

Alert for the first time Dean's mind raced to images of Sam hurt worse than he thought."Is it Sam?"

"No, there's something here for you. Something Holly left."

"When?"

Bobby sighed. "It arrived in the post about eighteen months ago. Said I was to give it to you if anything happened to her."

Dean's eyes were screwed tightly shut. "Any idea what it is?"

Carefully "At a guess I'd say it was her will."

Dean's jaw clenched. "Ok, I'll be back in a day or so."

"Don't go doin' anything stupid Dean."

Dean clicked the phone shut without answering.

So that's what she meant. When she had been dying Holly had said sorry and told him that she'd left something for him. He hadn't even thought about it until now. What could she have left him? If it wasn't her, he didn't care.

Getting up he stripped off his dirty clothes and threw them in the bin. Walking back to the bathroom he ran the shower and finally went to clean himself.

Standing under the spray of warm water he watched his feet as blood, tears and dirt were washed away down the drain. Holly's blood and the dirt from her grave. Closing his eyes he lifted his face upwards to feel the water flowing over him as his mind cast back once more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I said no dammit!"

"Oh c'mon Dean." She exclaimed collapsing onto the bed dramatically as he oiled his gun. "What do you want me to do I'm bored!"

He looked up. "What I want you to do is stop your bitching woman! I'm not taking you."

"You know it makes sense. It's the easiest way to lure the Vamp out and you know it."

"Am I speaking Urdu? I said no because you'll just go getting yourself into trouble and I'll have to come rescue you again."

"I've done my fair share of rescuing you too Dean."

"I swear Holly if you mention El Paso one more time I'm gonna start throwing punches!"

She sighed "At least that'll relieve the boredom." She muttered.

"You've got plenty to do. I got that stuff from the store."

"You got me Playboy, gummy bears and a bunch of quarters."

He grinned to himself "Sounds like a good night in to me."

"Ass."

"Look, I'm being serious, I don't want you getting hurt and that's final."

Getting up she changed tack. Walking over to where he was sitting she moved the arm holding the gun out of the way and straddled his lap.

"You know it's always more fun with me around." She said wiggling slightly.

He was having none of it. "No, I know it's a pain in the ass."

"But who you gonna show off to if I don't come?"

_God she knew him too damn well_

They had been in Denver three days and they were going stir crazy. He'd finally gotten a tip on where the vampire was nesting up and where he hung out and he wanted to dust the son of a bitch tonight so they could leave. The motel they were staying in was a pine nightmare and constantly staring at the walls had driven Holly nuts. She'd been cool the first day or so when she had stuff to do but now that their clothes were clean and they had food in their stomachs and money in their wallets she was itching to do something else. He couldn't blame her and remembered that he had promised she could keep hunting but the reality was more difficult to deal with. The thought of something happening to her caused a pain in his chest that he didn't want to contemplate but she would never understand that. What could he do, if he carried on like this he could lose her anyway, he knew that much.

Sighing he pulled her to him.

"Listen, you do what I tell you to and nothing else? If I tell you to sit in the Impala, you do it. If I tell you to hop on one leg singing the Happy Days theme tune then..."

"...I do it. I get it Dean." Hugging him to her she was obviously elated and he couldn't help but wonder what he had gotten himself into.

Standing up with her he deposited her on her feet and went to check he had everything he needed.

"Ok, now this is just in case, but you better take these."

Rummaging in his duffle bag he pulled out a gun and a stake. Turning around he handed them to her. "Now remember, these are some strong bastards and you gotta be quick so if anything happens one of these suckers to..."

"...the heart, I know."

"Relax Buffy, this is important so you better pay attention. Now remember that move I taught you in DC?"

She smiled at the memory of the rapists face as she'd taken him down and broken his arm in one move.

"Ok, so get your jacket."

They had no joy at the bar when they had gone in there. They stayed for a while on the lookout until they decided to move on to the abondoned theatre that Dean knew to be their nest, He'd wanted to drop Holly back at the motel but she wasn't having it and so lacking the energy to argu again he'd agreed to take her along.

Outside Dean took his stake, a knife and made sure that Holly was well prepared. It wasn't a good idea to take her but he couldn't leave her in the car either. She'd be safer where he could keep an eye on her.

Breaking in they made their way through the old dusty lobby and with the help of a torch to guide them they walked through to the auditorium. It had obviously been a grand place at some point but like many things had been left in favour of progress.It had the regular creepy feel and he could feel his skin crawl. Yeah, this was a nest alright.

"Stay close." He whispered over his shoulder.

Moving slowly he approached the old stage where the dusty heavy velvet drapes had been left to hang uselessly.

Cocking his head, he heard a slight whimper. Automatically on alert he glanced to make sure Holly was still behind him and moving closer to the stage, he peered into the gloom in the backstage area and saw a young woman tied to one of the stage columns. She was crying softly. He motioned with his head and Holly nodded so he knew she'd spotted her too.

Making their way up the steps they reached her in moments. The girl stared at him terrified at the sight of the gun and the stake.

"It's ok, we're not here to hurt you." He said in an even tone holding up his weapons. "Is he still here?" The girls eyes said it all.

He nodded to Holly who crouched down and untied the girl, holding her closely to her once she was free.

"Get her out of here." He whispered. "And be careful."

Grabbing the girl she hurried away quietly murmuring to her softly as she did so.

Dean continued into the stage wing and found a door leading down to the backstage area. Going down a winding staircase, he could hear the sound of someone talking.

Keeping his breath even he moved slowly down the corridor where the dressing rooms would once have been. Now, the paint on the walls was peeling and he could hear the familiar scurry of rats. The voices got louder toward the end of the corridor when he came to a door that was just ajar. Glancing around it he could see that there were three vampires inside feasting on the dead body of a young man, probably the boyfriend of the girl. Shit, three of them. That changes things, he thought.

_Ah, screw it._

Bursting through the door he let off a couple of shots hitting two of them before they realised what was happening. Angry now, The remaining one flew at him knocking him to the ground and winding him. He was up and seconds, ducking a wild swing, he staked the sucker there and then. With no time to breathe he took on the remaining two.

They weren't big in life but in death they had awesome strength. They tag teamed him like he was nothing. Slowing the one on the right down with more shots he was starting to get somewhere.

Suddenly he felt a pain in his side and looking down he saw a blade sticking out of his ribs. He didn't feel anything at all, that's what adrenaline did. Ignoring it, he had more pressing issues at hand. Roaring he raised the stake and rushed the vamp head on, taking him out with a powerful stab.

There was one left and before Dean could remove the stake from his buddy he was grabbed by the throat and hauled off his feet. Gurgling, he flailed with his arms trying to get some purchase on the vampire grip.

Looking down, he was considering his limited options when he saw a small arm snake quickly round the monsters neck and with a push a stake appeared through his chest oozing blood and tissue.

With a thud and a scream the vampire dropped Dean and was gone. Dean was dazed and fell to the ground.

_What the hell?_

Putting a hand to his side, he was suddenly feeling the pain, but as he looked up from the ground it retreated to the back of his mind when he saw Holly swiftly decapitate one of the bodies.

_Should I be worried she's so good at that?_

With a grunt he made it to his feet and she came over to him.

"Hey." She gently touched his side which still had the small blade sticking out of it. "Let's get out of here and get you patched up."

For once there wasn't much that they could say to one another, He was hurt and she was worried, the ass kicking would wait til tomorrow.

Helping him back to the car she opened the passenger door and her face told him not to argue. She got behind the wheel and reaching acoss him she pushed her hand into his jean pocket and retrieved the keys. She fired up the engine.

"Where's the girl?" He managed grimacing.

She looked across at him. "They turned her. So I wasted her."

"Oh."

Back in the room Holly got him to the bed. Now for the fun part he thought.

He'd had more than his fair share of injuries and most he had dealt with alone but he had to admit that having his own personal candy striper did have its appeal.

Holly was always sympathetic when he was injured, tended his wounds without giving him a hard time or making him feel a jackass but inevitably she would lay into him in a way that only she could. She'd drive him mad but it's how she showed she cared. He guessed they were more alike than he thought. She'd had to cope being held prisoner by a psychopath for two years with no one to complain to so that's how she dealt with everything. Minimum fuss, like him. He liked that about her but it also worried him at times, like she was hurting more inside than he would ever know.

She put her small fingers to the hole in his shirt and tore it open with her bare hands, then helping him to remove it she threw it in the trash. Taking her first aid kit out of her bag she placed it on the bed next to him. She went to the bathroom for towels and a bowl of hot water. She always kept everything she needed well stocked up. Usually he just made do with whiskey and a needle and thread.

As if she read his mind she opened another bag and retrieved a bottle of JD that she had obviously been hiding for this sole purpose. He couldn't blame her, he did tend to do this quite a lot.

Handing him the bottle she propped some pillows under his head. Opening it with a grimace he took a big gulp. Already feeling a little better he looked at her.

Smiling she looked back at him. "Ready?" She asked.

"Get it over with."

"Look at this." Quick as a flash she tore open her own shirt and while he sat open mouthed staring at her breasts she removed the blade from his ribs in one swift movement.

Grinning at his expression she didn't bother to do up her shirt but grabbed a towel and applied pressure to the open wound.

_The woman was a freakin genius!_

Christ he sat back looking at her, how did she manage to make something so painful seem so good? It was a rare gift.

She sat by his side as she kept the pressure constant. She looked down at him and swigging some more alcohol he allowed his hand to wander to her open shirt.

"Did I ever tell you how cool you were?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to remind me every now and again Winchester."

She reached down and placed his hand over her left breast, then taking the bottle from him she took a drink. She took the towel away from his side and poured the alcohol onto the wound. Gasping his hand tightened on her but she was undeterred. Giving him back the bottle she took the needle and thread from the kit and proceeded to stitch the hole closed.

All the time his eyes were on her rather than what she was doing to him and again he was blown away by her hidden talents.

"All done."

Looking down in surprise he saw the neat small stitches. Christ if that had been Dad's work he'd have been looking like Frankenstein, this would barely scar. Incredible.

She had him quickly patched with gauze and tape. Packing everything away she left him to nurse the bottle.

He loved it when they had their sparring matches and she made him laugh but sometimes when they just moved around each other in utter silence it was just as amazing.

Returning to the room, she untied his boots and set them down. Lifting his legs she pulled the top sheet from under his body and draped it over him.

Moving to the other side of the bed she stripped off and climbed in with him. He opened out his arm and she snuggled into his good side.

They'd just wasted four vampires and he'd been stabbed but he didn't think there was a happier man in the world than right at that moment.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, so although it's not like I have a mass following, one comment asked for the Dean and Holly wedding. So one night when I had tooooooo much wine and a bad case of Insomnia I wrote the majority of this. I thought I would delete it the next day. But then when I re-read it I decided that my Dean OC was capable of doing some stupid things and it fit in with Holly's character too.

If you've read the rest of the story then you know I kind of like Dean getting bested by a woman. It may not be to everyone's taste, but it turns me on! 

I love writing Bobby too, such a fantastic character that can slot into any story. I took some liberties with the legend but it works for me! I kind of liked the idea that a Winchester wedding would be like a farce so I went with it...let me know what you think...

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Sam had heard the sound a million times before but he had never been so grateful to hear it as he was right now. The Impala's engine cut out and the strains of Highway to Hell were extinguished. 

His brother was back. 

Dean had been gone for three long days. Three days in which Sam's physical pain paled in comparison to the worry that he had for his older brother. When he thought of him having to bury his wife with his own two hands he couldn't bear it. Dean wanted to protect him from seeing him in a weakened state and Sam got that. Since they were kids he'd been protecting his little brother and it was a hard habit to break. 

Part of him expected to see Dean walk through Bobby's door with a smile on his face as though nothing had happened. He'd always locked any feelings away and hid behind a wall of humor and cockiness, it was nothing new. But Sam longed to get through to him, to impress on him that sometimes he needed to let his guard down. At that moment though he didn't care what shape Dean was in, as long as he had come back. 

In his heart he'd known that his brother wouldn't abandon him but there had been times when he had entertained the thought that their time together was up. It was something that Sam had wanted in the past but now he couldn't imagine life without the person who mattered most to him in the world.

But Dean didn't walk through the door. 

Frowning Sam struggled to get up from the chair he was sat in. His leg was agony but he would walk through hot coals if his brother needed him to. 

Limping to the door he opened it. He could see the figure of his brother behind the wheel of the Impala. 

Opening the screen door onto the afternoon sun Sam stood a moment on the porch watching. 

Dean looked up at him through the windscreen expressionless. He held Sam's gaze for what seemed an eternity before he reached over, opened the door of the Impala and got out. 

Sam struggled to catch his breath when he saw Dean for the first time. The person stood in front of him looked nothing like the brother that he knew. 

Dean's clothes were wrinkled to hell, his face was bearded and one of his hands was bandaged badly with a bloody length of fabric. He'd seen his brother looking pretty banged up following a hunt but he had never seen his eyes look like that before. Even the car was covered in mud and looking neglected. 

Dean looked empty, there was nothing behind his eyes that would indicate that he had any humanity left. Red-rimmed and slitted, they continued to bore a hole through Sam.

Sam mentally slapped himself and realised for the first time in his life that he was going to have to be the strong one for once. He wouldn't allow himself to let Dean down. 

It hurt but he managed to move down the steps without limping. He didn't want to give Dean any reason to worry about him, not now. Pacing slowly towards him Sam paused momentarily then taking Dean by the shoulders he pulled him into a hug. 

"I missed you man."

Dean's arms remained by his sides. 

Releasing him, Sam stood back. "I'm glad you're here."

"Yeah, me too Sam."

"C'mon, Bobby'll be happy to see you too."

They they made their way slowly and silently inside. Bobby had heard the car too and was coming out of the den. 

Walking over to Dean he embraced him looking over at Sam when Dean remained motionless. 

"Good to see ya son. Real good." He tried to be cheerful but Dean remained impassive. 

"What d'ya say I fix us something to eat? I only do chilli but you must be half starved after that trip."

Dean coughed with a grimace, as if trying to find his voice. "Thanks, but I'll pass, I just came to pick up Sammy and we'll be hitting the road."

Sam frowned over at Bobby and shrugged. 

"Well, ok, whatever you want. I'll just go get some stuff together." The older man said.

Sam knew Dean didn't intend to do any more talking any time soon so he didn't push the matter. If Dean wanted to leave then Sam wasn't going to question him, at least he wasn't going alone this time.

Sam began to pack his few belongings together and went to put them in the trunk of the Impala.

Bobby returned to see that Sam had gone outside. 

He was carrying an envelope and a bottle of pills. 

"I got Sam some painkillers. He didn't wanna take 'em but what the hell right? Maybe you'll have more luck than me." Distracted by Dean's unwavering expression he would have been lying if he didn't think that Dean was possessed. But he knew that look, he'd seen it in John and in himself when they'd lost their wives. He knew Dean was only possessed by the kind of thing that no amount of Holy water could help. 

"Here, this is what Holly left for you." 

Dean took the large manilla envelope from Bobby. He could tell there was something small and solid in it but he didn't have the energy to guess what it was. He looked at the older mans' face and felt bad about the way that he was treating him. Bobby was like a father to him after all. 

"I just..." Dean cleared his throat again. "...I just wanna say thanks. For Sam and ya know...?" He couldn't bring himself to say her name out loud. 

Bobby looked embarrassed for a second. "Don't mention it, it's what family's do. Right?"

Dean tried to manage a smile but got nowhere near. Turning away Bobby watched him leave, just as Sam walked back in the door. 

"He say anything?" The younger brother asked. 

"Nothin', kid he's in some real pain. You gotta keep an eye out on him. Especially when he reads that letter."

"But you have no idea what it says."

"Don't matter none, it's a wife's dying wishes to her husband. Whatever it is, it ain't gonna do him much good to read it after a drink."

"Huh, " he shrugged suddenly feeling tired, "why the hell do we do this? You, Dad, me...and now Dean. We all lost the women we loved. What's the point?"

Bobby let out a breath and frowned. "I don't know what to tell ya son, all I know is that we lost out so that other men don't have to go through what we do every day."

Sam nodded thinking that he was probably right. 

"Thanks for everything Bobby, I really appreciate it. " Sam leant down to hug him and noticed that there was a shimmer in Bobby's eye.

"You take care, and promise me you'll call if you need anything."

"Sure." he said with a smile and retreated to the car.

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Dean glanced across at his sleeping brother in the passenger seat with a frown. He looked so peaceful and Dean wondered if he'd ever have sleep like that again. 

They hadn't spoken at all and Dean knew that something had to give. He was driving with no destination or purpose. He couldn't go dragging his brother all over the country just because he couldn't cope with life. Nevertheless, it felt good to have him back,

He thought about the letter in the glove compartment. Part of him wanted to pull over and read it now, another part of him wanted to put off the inevitable reaction looking at Holly's messy handwriting would have. 

He decided to wait. 

In the absence of music and conversation though, Dean found that once more he could only think of her. 

Glancing down at his left hand he looked at the ring and thought about the day that Holly had put it there. 

He had to smile when he thought about it. 

There were very few things you could rely on in life, but he knew of two sure bets. One was that everyone dies sooner or later and the other was that being a Winchester was never an easy thing. Hell, being a Winchester trying to get hitched though had some major challenges. 

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Lying in bed, he was awoken from an amazing dream by a howl from Bobby that was so loud that he rolled off his bed onto the floor. Waking up immediately he adopted a fighting stance and grabbed for his knife realising too late that he had a tent in his boxers and there was no assailant. Just Bobby looking at him in horror.

Bobby flicked on the light and stared at him.

Holly had decided in her infinite wisdom that she and Dean couldn't share a bed again until they got married which he didn't really understand as she was anything but a traditionalist. He had let her have her way though as usual, and now he was stuck in a room with Bobby which sucked. He cursed his future wife as he considered the position that she had put him in. 

"What in Hell's name was that!" Bobby yelled at him. 

Glancing down at his shorts Dean was embarrassed wondering what he'd been doing in his sleep.

Seeing the look of puzzlement on his face Bobby shook his head. "You didn't see that!"

Dean frowned at him.

Bobby sat up further. "Son, I did two tours in 'Nam, and I gotta say, I saw nothing over there that compared to the horror of what I just witnessed!"

Dean was looking truly worried now,"Bobby, what just happened?" He pulled slightly on his shorts and sat carefully back on the bed making sure that his lap was covered by the sheet. 

"Dean! I just saw some...apparition having...her way with you."

"Huh!"

"You don't remember?"  
"Dude, I was asleep! Having nice dreams but asleep."

"Well from the front row over here, I can tell you that you were makin' some pretty hot love to a demon."

"No!"

"Dean," he pointed at his face which was deathly pale. "Look at me and tell me I'm lying."

Dean glanced into the distance trying to comprehend what he was hearing. "What the hell comes into a cheap hotel room in Vegas and tries to have sex with someone?"

Bobby got up and walked across the room in his long johns. Rummaging in his bag he came up with a book. 

"I can take one guess," He said flicking through the pages he paused and handed the book to Dean "She was a Succubus."

Dean took the book from him and looking down he saw an illustration of a young man in bed with his back arched in pleasure as an old hag with long white hair performed oral sex on him. 

Dean's mouth was hanging open.

Dean had never been so serious in his life. "Bobby, if you ever want me to be able to enjoy sex again then _please_ tell me this is not what you just saw!"

Bobby looked at him expressionlessly. 

Dean dropped the book in horror and collapsed back onto the bed putting a pillow over his face.

Bobby could hear a muffled scream and he couldn't say he blamed Dean for reacting that way. With a sigh, he thought about his responsibilities as best man and leaning over he removed the pillow from Dean's face. He had to get him through this somehow or this wedding would be a disaster.

"Dean, there's no point in freaking out. We have to focus and hunt this like anything else."

"Anything else doesn't do stuff like that Bobby! Christ, I've been stabbed, shot, strangled and beaten to a pulp but I swear to God!...how the hell am I going to explain this to Holly?"

"Woah, woah, woah, son...there's no need to start talking crazy now. Who says she even has to know?"

Dean looked at him like he had two heads. "What? You don't think she'll notice that I turned from Ron Jeremy into John Wayne Bobbitt overnight?"

Bobby laughed. "Dean, I know you're traumatised but don't talk stupid. You're no Ron Jeremy!"

Dean frowned. "Yeah, what do you know? Last time you did it Carter was still in power!"

Bobby sighed."Well, there isn't much we can do tonight. We can look into it tomorrow. We still have one day left before the wedding and come hell or high water we ain't lettin' this witch ruin it."

Dean was up and pulling on his jeans. "I can't go back to sleep man, I'm heading to the bar. You joining me?"

With a sigh and a shrug Bobby got up and collecting some books and hastily putting on his clothes he nodded. "C'mon, I can't say I blame you, I thought I'd had enough PTSD to last a lifetime, but this is somethin' else."

Dean paused for a second as he tried to do up his fly, "Why don't you head on down? I just need to go to the bathroom, I'll only be...like two minutes." he shrugged trying to sound casual.

Bobby groaned, cursing himself mentally for not having stumped up the cash for his own room. "Knock yourself out Ron." He said pulling on his cap and beating a hasty retreat.

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Dean was busy knocking back the whiskeys in the bar when Bobby came back bleary eyed from the internet cafe in the lounge.He didn't look like he was full of the joys of Spring. Sitting down at the bar he gestured to the tender who poured him a shot.

"Dean, far as I can tell, nothing like this has happened before in Vegas, I mean this is a hotbed of rape and sexual assault but no one ever reported anything like this."

Dean was depressed again and took another swig. 

"Take it easy, you ain't exactly doin' your libido any favours there kid."

Dean slammed his glass down,"What the hell Bobby! I mean, I don't get many breaks in life but this cool chick says she'll marry me and I'm finally happy and then some freakish old woman makes me her bitch! What the hell would you do?"

"You have a point." He said taking a drink. "I mean, why here? Why now? It hasn't happened before so there's no real reason. Unless..."

Dean glanced over at him. He didn't like the way that this was going. "Do I even want to hear this?"

Bobby looked at him and had to smile a little no matter how horrible the situation. "Ya know, it's just a thought but you and your Daddy are pretty famous in the Underworld."

"Yeah, so's Satan, what's your point?"

"I think you may have a fan Dean."

Suddenly feeling more than a little drunk Dean laughed out loud. "Bobby, you have to be shittin' me!"

"Dean Winchester, I hate to break it to you," Bobby said raising his glass. "..but you just made it onto the Sexiest People list of Demon Weekly." Laughing hysterically at his own joke Bobby paused briefly to take a drink.

"Nah, what the hell? It's not possible."

"Why not? I mean, all the girls like a bad boy and to a demon, a demon hunter is pretty much the ultimate. Don'tcha think? Add to that the fact that you're getting married. It kinda sells itself."

Getting up from his seat he looked over at Dean still chuckling. "I'm sorry Dean but I gotta phone your Dad and tell him. He's gonna shit bricks when he hears this!"

Dean sat at the bar scowling and contemplated what he'd just heard. Even by his standards he found it more ridiculous than alien abduction. Couldn't he get any luck in his life? He thought miserably. Jeez he knew he was hot enough to bag Holly but a Demon spinster from Hell? 

Looking over he saw that Bobby had left a book behind as he rushed to give the good news to his Dad. Flipping it open he quickly found the page that Bobby had shown him and he started reading.

He noted that the Succubi were the female version of an Incubus who would paralyze women in their sleep and then have their dirty way with them. Sometimes they would do it to produce a child, other times just for kicks. He noted with disgust that they were sometimes described as being bisexual. He had no problem with people wanting a bit of everything, as long as they didn't just choose to snack at his buffet. Then worse was yet to come when he read that they could actually render you impotent completely!

He was getting more and more despondent with each word he read and could feel his sex drive plummet. He needed to do something fast or else little Dean would be out of action for good. That thought was bad enough but when he considered his wedding night and the images he would have in his head...Christ!

Dean hadn't noticed the time pass but all of a sudden he felt someone grab him round the neck from behind. In his present state this wasn't a good idea. 

Taking the arm from round his neck he twisted on the bar stool hopping off in one movement. Putting all his weight into his shoulder he flung his asailant over his back through the air so that they landed with a thud on the ground in front of him.

Squinting through bleary eyes he suddenly made out the form lying on the floor at his feet. His eyes widened and he grimaced.

_Awww shit!_

Before he could say anything Holly was on her feet with a hand to her back wincing in discomfort. She was wearing a bikini and a short skirt. He managed to notice how good she looked.

He wanted to say sorry but before his mouth could form the words she threw a right hook which caught him on the chin and sent him crashing back over the bar stool.

He lay on the floor looking up at her. Man, she looked pissed and he couldn't really blame her.

The bartender was calling security. 

Giving Dean a look that told him he was lucky to be alive she turned and went to the bar. 

Dean picked himself up off the floor manipulating his jaw with one hand.

"Sir? I'm sorry, you don't have to call security. It's fine really." 

She looked over her shoulder at Dean. "My brother's slightly retarded and sometimes when he drinks he lashes out. It's really not his fault."

The barman nodded as though that explained everything. 

He was injured in Iraq" She added in a stage whisper.

The barman looked over at Dean through narrowed eyes and Dean shrugged in a 'what the hell dude?' gesture. 

"I know, it's so sad. I promise I'll keep an eye on him though."

The barman nodded reluctantly still eyeing Dean with suspicion. 

Holly grabbed him brutally by the arm and pulled him out of the bar.

Standing in front of him in the lobby she waited for an explaination. 

Dean laughed. "Hey, Holly, how's it goin? I ever tell you how hot you look in a bikini?"

Taking time to control herself she looked at him pensively. "What in hell's name was that!"

"Huh?" He was all innocence. 

"There's something happening and I don't know what it is but you better spit it out Winchester or I swear I'll kick your ass right now." Her look said she was serious and he winced slightly. 

He was trying to think on his feet which had never been a strong point for him. "OK, I can't explain right now but I need to ask you to do something for me. If you have any feelings for me at all you'll just trust me no questions asked."

Holly, looked at him carefully. She'd seen him in all kinds of states before, drunk, scared and even downright dangerous. Looking at him now she saw something akin to desperation. That was a new one!

She gave him a hard time on a constant basis but he had no idea of the things she was capable of doing for him. She always made him think she was doing him a favour but in reality she would have died for him on numerous occasions. She'd long bypassed the point where she could say no to him.

"Ok."

Nodding at her he took her hand and pulled her behind him as he dashed for the elevators. 

"Where are we going?" She asked. 

Stabbing at the elevator button Dean could feel the blood pounding in him. He needed to prove something to himself and also to the Demon Stalker. 

With a ping the elevator doors opened and he waited impatiently as a group of pensioners shuffled their way out. Once it was free, he pulled Holly in after him. Another couple in matching sweatsuits tried to get in. 

"Sorry," Dean said raising a hand "this one's taken."

The woman tutted angrily, but as the door shut she caught a glimpse of Dean grabbing Holly under the thighs and hoisting her to his waist.

She was taken aback but her arms clasped instinctively around his neck and her thighs had a firm grip of him as the elevator rose through the floors. He had one hand in her hair pulling her face to his as he kissed her frantically. The other hand pushed up her skirt into her bikini and he knew then that he still had the Winchester touch.

He considered pushing the emergency stop button and taking her right on the floor but he knew he needed longer with her.

With another ping they got to their floor and he walked out of the elevator with Holly now writhing on him. God, he needed to get to a room soon or he was going to lose it!

Staggering blindly down the corridor he bounced off the wall once as he couldn't tear his mouth from hers. It seemed to take forever but he knew roughly from memory how far he would have to go to get to her room. 

Eventually reaching the door he managed to tear himself away.

"Where's the key?" he said gasping,

"Huh?" She was looking down at him panting heavily.

Grabbing her round the waist he placed her to one side. "Never mind." 

He broke the door down with little effort. Laughing to himself he had to admit that hormones were a powerful thing!

Scooping her up again he didn't bother to close the door, too late for that. 

He didn't need to hold her to him any more, she wasn't going anywhere. With his free hands he undid his fly and let his jeans fall as they banged into a wall. 

Laughing, Holly looked down at him with her hands either side of his face. 

"What the hell got into you Winchester?" she panted kissing him as he unhooked her bikini top with one flick of his fingers.

He grinned as he pushed her against the wardrobe.

"I dunno, but a bar brawl always did turn me on."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Well, so much for waiting til the wedding night." She grinned into his chest. 

He sighed in satisfaction. It had been good, but he was just relieved to know that his near rape experience the previous night hadn't scarred him for life. He couldn't bear to think of it even now. 

With a shock he realised for the first time what Holly must go through every time she slept with him. He'd had one bizarre encounter with a demon but she had gone through over two years of systematic abuse at the hands of a madman. Christ, he'd never even really thought about it in those terms, she'd always seemed so comfortable with him that he took it for granted. Was she spending her nights with him lying awake remembering pain and torture?

Frowning, he turned slightly and pulling her to him he put a hand in her hair and kissed her gently. "Are you happy?"

"Dean, after what you just achieved, I'm freakin ecstatic!"

He smiled, "I mean it." he said seriously.

She looked at him frowning and then rose on one elbow. "What's up?"

He shrugged, "Nothing, I just wanted to know that's all."

"Did someone put Rohypnol in your drink?"

"Holly, be straight with me. Do I make you happy?"

She looked a little freaked out when she realised that he meant it. She thought that she knew him so well and he was acting out of character. She pulled her hair over one shoulder so it was out of the way and leaning down she kissed him. 

"Dean, you know I love you right?."

"Yeah," He grinned. "Sure."

She took his face in one hand squashing his cheeks. "I swear, I've been through the ringer more than a few times but you have the lowest self-opinion of anyone I ever met."

Releasing his face she lay back down."Is this about Sam?"

"Huh?"

"Did you even call him to tell him we're getting married.?"

He thought for a moment, his mind was going in all directions."Kinda."

She sighed, "Let me guess, you invited him to Vegas and when he said no you didn't push it, Am I right!"

"Holly it freaks me out when you do that!"

"You're not exactly an enigma Dean,"  
"Huh?"

"I can read you like a book. I studied psychology remember? You want Sam to come to Vegas because he wants to and not because he feels obligated. So instead of telling him that you want him to share your happy day, you made light of it and said it was just a boys weekend."

Getting out of bed, Dean pulled on his jeans. "I met psychics who can't do that...it's just plain wrong."

"What can I say? I'm brilliant."

"No, you're a..."

"...pain in the ass? See I did it again. I always said I knew you better than you know yourself. Give Sam a call."

Dean, rested his hands on his hips and looked down at her. 

"Maybe later. I gotta go find Bobby."

"Why?"

"Just something we gotta take care of." He knelt back on the bed and kissed her quickly."I'll catch you later."

Pulling on his t-shirt and boots he thought about what she'd said and she was so right it was scary. He did want Sam to be there but he didn't want to have to beg or make him feel bad for saying no. It killed him that they weren't closer. Even his own Dad couldn't make it because he was chasing a werewolf in Detroit. In the end it was always Bobby he could rely on to drop everything for him. Maybe that was because he had no one else in his life to look out for. 

God, he hated it when Holly made him think about stuff, He was so much happier just pretending his issues away.

Well, he didn't have much time to waste if he wanted to kill off this demon before tomorrow. 

Saying a final goodbye he left the room, propping the door up gently behind him, making a mental note to get that fixed. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Later on that afternoon, Bobby and Dean had done all they could to try to find a way to get rid of the Succubus but the verdict was unanimous and there was no other way than exorcising her stalking ass back to wherever she came from. Bobby had decided on a plan that involved Dean naked on the bed and Bobby standing in the wardrobe. Needless to say Dean wasn't thrilled at the prospect of being bait for a geriatric rapist from Hell!

He was trying to think of an alternative plan that didn't put his manhood on the line when the door to Dean's room swung open hitting the wall and bouncing back. Without thinking about it Holly put up a hand and stopped it on its' return path. Her eyes didn't leave Dean's.

She was furious, somehow she must have found out what was going on but he was damned if he knew how. Bobby was standing next to him and flinched noticeably as he saw her standing in the doorway. 

She glared at Dean as she strode into the room. "Only you...!" She accused. 

Dean glanced at Bobby and gave him a nervous look. "Holly, look," he held up his hands. "...there's nothing to worry about, me and Bobby have it all worked out...we're gonna fix this don't worry."

Not convinced she glanced at Bobby and raised her eyebrows.

His eyes widened slightly, "Guys, I think I'm gonna hit the blackjack table, don't mind me." Passing Holly he threw a frown at Dean over her shoulder. 

Dean smiled. 

"I saw that Bobby!" She countered without turning around.

With a last pitying look at Dean, Bobby retreated swiftly from the room and closed the door behind him. 

"Listen, Holly it's no big deal. We've faced worse and it's always been ok."

She put her hands on her hips. "What's a Succubus Dean?"

He laughed nervously, then cleared his throat. "Nothing, really." He shrugged trying hard to look casual.

"Nothing?I Really? ...Just did a little looking into it Winchester and I have to say; well done. Really!" She clapped her hands sarcastically shaking her head at him. 

He frowned. This wasn't going well, Holly wasn't like most girls. She wasn't easily won over by his smile. 

"You _beg_ me to marry you in Vegas..." he went to interrupt her but she raised a hand to stop him turning around and pacing in a circle."...so here I am, and I don't ask much from life. Really I don't. I don't have a bridesmaid, there's no family and I don't even spend your hard won defrauded cash on a dress. Really I was happy just to marry you." Dean smiled despite himself, but she was on a roll now and there was no stopping her. "Don't get me wrong, I knew what I was getting into, I mean, I knew what you were like and I knew that Bobby came as part of the package. Shit Dean, I knew you came with strings and I even accept your compulsive need for porn and strippers. But this...!"

Dean frowned at her."It's not like it's my fault Holly, ya know, Supernatural things can be unpredicatable. You never know what might happen in my job. Wait, I can have strippers!" he said with a questioning frown.

She stopped pacing for a second. "Cute Dean. All I know is that I am expected to stand at an altar tomorrow and hand over my life to you. Even if it is in front of a freak dressed as Elvis. It's the one weekend that's mine and you _have_ to go and get molested by a cock-sucking She-Devil!"

Sitting down on the bed heavily she braced her elbows on her knees and hung her head between her legs.

"How the hell did you find out about it anyway?"

"Gimme some credit Winchester, I've tracked some of the best criminal minds out there, you and Chuckles aren't exactly a challenge!"

He frowned at her. "I asked what you were up to last night and then bribed the guy at the internet cafe and checked the history for the time that Bobby was online."

He had to give her credit. Christ, the woman was relentless. "Like I said, I have a plan. It'll all be over by tomorrow."

"Sure, the undead decide that they want to harvest your semen and I'm supposed to be ok with that?"

"Well, I don't think you have to worry about me fathering demon spawn just yet...not with what she was doing to me"

Holly glanced up and Dean almost recoiled at the look in her eyes. She held up an index finger and a thumb about an inch apart. "You're this close to feeling the wrath of something way more scary than that bitch."

"Are you jealous!"

"Damn freakin right I am! It's my wedding and no one, I mean no one is going to come along and pull this crap on me! Get it sorted out or I swear on my eyes Dean, I'll start my own Apocalypse!"

Dean bit his lip and looked down at his shoes, what was he? A sixth grader?

She stood up, "I'm going to the bar and I intend to get very drunk. I'll see you tomorrow."

Dean sighed heavily and collapsed onto the bed. What was up with her? Did she have PMS? Christ it's not like he chose to be the target of some sex crazed Demon! After all, he thought, none of this would have happened if Holly hadn't decided when they arrived in Vegas that she didn't want to share a bed with him again til they were married. 

It was bad enough going without sex when she was just one door away, but sharing a room with Bobby had been the pits. Succubi preyed on the weak and that was what he was. She only had herself to blame he decided.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Is the coast clear?" asked Bobby as he came back to the room carrying a paper bag. 

"Jesus Bobby, don't tell me you're scared of her?"

"Succubus, no. Holly, yes." He said as he walked in.

"Man, the stuff you've hunted and you're scared of Holly?"

"Too freakin' right. Son, let me tell ya something about women."

Dean groaned. "I had this conversation with my Dad when I was seven."

"Behave Dean, I ain't talkin' birds and bees here. I'm talking about womin!"

Dean closed the door and shrugged, "No offense Bobby but since when have you been an oracle for women?"

"Dean, you grew up without a mother. All you ever had was a killing machine for a father and a little brother that wanted to be just like you, it's not like you're the most sensitive person in the world so humour an old man when he's trying to pass on some wisdom."

Dean followed him into the room. Bobby sat at the table and Dean decided to lounge on the bed. 

"So," Dean was all cockiness, "Bring it on Bobby, I'm all ears as to how you can teach me something about women!"

"Put it back in your shorts, I'm too old to take your crap. All I'm saying is that girl out there you got to marry you is one in a million."

"I wouldn't marry her otherwise Bobby."

"I get that Dean, but you two together is like trying to mix the Three Stooges with The Bolshoi Ballet!"

"Are you calling me Gay?"

"Dean! You're the Stooge you moron. That girl runs rings round you. Don't get me wrong it's a good thing. I mean, I gotta tell ya, I've seen some female Hunters in my time, but she's not like the rest."

"How d'ya mean?"

"Well, she don't have to shave her beard for one. Seriously Dean, do you realise how fragile she actually is? "

"I know she's been through a lot but I can take care of her."

"I have no doubt that you can physically but...Dean, do you really know what happened to her all those years ago?"

Dean stood up abruptly. "Bobby, I...look I don't want to think about it."

"Dean, you're marrying this girl and I'm taking a safe bet that you haven't even Googled her."

"Hey, I googled her plenty!"

"Dean. I love you, I really do. But you're a stupid ass. You've got street smarts to take on anyone or anything. But this is the first time you've had to put yourself to the test in this way. I gotta say the best shot you have of getting rid of your Demon stalker is getting to know your future wife better."

Dean sat back down. "Bobby, I've spent months on the road with her. I know her. How's it going to help me?"

"I just have a hunch, That's all. Succubi prey on the weak right? According to lore, they're not even meant to prey while in someone else's presence. But I was in the room with you. I think if you just deal with your issues then you can have a shot at some kind of normal life, whatever that may be. "

"Then the bitch won't be able to revisit?"

"It's worth a shot, unless you want to go back to plan A where you were naked."

"NO! I'm good, thanks!"

"So anyway, as your best man, I put together a little something for you."

He came over to the bed to open the bag. Dean pulled at it and peered over the top. "You haven't got Pamela Anderson in there have you?"

"I swear, you're your own worst enemy."

Reaching into the bag, Bobby pulled out a stack of files and a bottle of whiskey even though it was barely four in the afternoon.

He sat on the bed heavily. " I saw Holly a little while ago in the bar."

Dean was suddenly serious. 

"She's as scared as you are. You better believe it." 

Dean frowned. "I'm not scared Bobby."

"Sure, you can take on pretty much anything you set your mind to Dean, I know you, you're one of the best there is. Hell, you were taught by the best but this is real life son, not the Supernatural." 

"What are you talking about?"

"These are Holly's files. The files from when she escaped from that psycho. Her medical and police reports and also a few clippings, I think she kept for posterity."

Dean frowned. "She wants me to have these? Why?"

"Call it a shot in the dark Dean but I don't really see you as the sharing and caring sort. Maybe she thought it was simpler this way."

Dean lifted one of the files."This isn't going to change how I feel about her."

Bobby laughed and stood up. "Son. it's not me you have to convince."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Bobby left, Dean had decided to start on the whiskey before he started on the files. He thought it might be a safer bet. 

He remembered the exact moment when Holly had told him who she really was. Everyone from his generation knew who Hayley Hart-Cooper was. 

Hearing it had been a shock to say the least. To think that someone you just met, who seemed so fearless and independent could have been the victim of one of the most notorious crimes of the decade. It didn't bear thinking aboout. And he hadn't.

He took Holly on face value as he had with everyone he had ever met.. Either I like them or I hate them, he thought. But he never thought of love. 

Now, here he was one day from getting married and he was about to face up to something he never thought he would have to. Truth be told, he thought or chose to think that Holly was over it. She never talked about it, and he never asked. So it must be in the past right? Apparently not, because here it was staring him in the face.

He hated to think about that part of her life, because he hadn't been there for her. He hated to think of her locked in that room for over thirty months. 

He took another drink as he considered his options. Bobby and Holly both expected him to be man enough to deal with this but was he really?

Was he scared that he'd feel differently about her? Hell yeah. 

Going out onto the tiny balcony of the room he looked over the lights of Vegas. The place he'd always wanted to come to. He'd come here with a purpose. He could almost hear his father growling in his head about obligation, and he thought of phoning him for a moment. 

That moment passed as he stood on the balcony. He'd be all alone if it wasn't for Holly. Hell, he'd be dead if it wasn't for her. He owed it to her to face up to this and deal with it. 

Going back into the bedroom with the bottle still in his hands he picked up the first file and started reading.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dean stepped into the shower and turned it on cold. His blood was boiling so much he couldn't contain himself.

He'd read all the reports and random facts kept floating in his head.

_Forty two unhealed fractures...massive internal scarring...emotionally distant..._

He had found out things about her that he wouldn't have believed someone could survive. He felt proud that she was such a fighter but at the same time, horrified at what she had endured. 

Then there were the other reports about Walden;

_psychopathic tendancies...rage issues...eyes gouged from sockets._

At the time papers hadn't reported much as he had been deemed too insensitive. 

How could he deal with this? He was supposed to marry her tomorrow and instead of a batchelor party he was getting a '_here's how you're girlfriend was tortured party'._

He took a deep breath and tried to think things through. The best way he could think to deal was by looking at his own life from the outside in,

_Ok, so your Mom dies when you're four. She's pinned to the ceiling on fire and your Dad witnesses it. Then you basically raise your little brother single-handedly while Dad goes out hunting Demons, ghosts and anything else he might fancy. _

When he thought about his life in such simplistic terms he had to admit he wasn't such a catch. Maybe he was the only person who could be with her. She needed someone strong like him, he figured. Was he able to be that guy?

By the end of the shower he knew Bobby was right, he might not be the most intelligent man in the world but he had street smarts. One thing you did was make sure of was, you surround yourself with people you could trust. No matter what had happened in the past he knew he could trust Holly. She'd proved it so many times. He couldn't think of anyone he'd rather share his life with. Yeah, she was a ball breaker but she was amazing with it.

Dean got out of the shower, dried himself off, took another glug of whiskey and left the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Going down to the bar, Dean had considered all the scenarios in his head, but what he found there, he was unprepared for. 

"Dad?" He said as he caught sight of the familiar back hunched over the bar between Bobby and Holly. 

John Winchester turned around with a smile and stood up. 

"Hey Dean, didn't think I'd miss my oldest boys day did you?"

Dean exhaled in shock as his Dad pulled him into a bear hug. He closed his eyes and took in the familiar scent of leather and gun oil, as he returned the embrace fiercely. 

Releasing him, John turned to the barman "A whiskey for my son, hell make it a double."

"I'm sorry sir but I'm afraid we can't give your son any more alcohol."

John glanced at Holly who smiled and hung her head. 

The barman nodded over to Holly and coughing politely he addressed John."He had a fight with your daughter this morning, I'm afraid it got quite physical. The only reason he was able to stay in the hotel was she explained." He put a hand to his mouth and whispered loudly "You know, about Iraq..."

Bobby sniggered and John looked at Dean in confusion but little surprise. 

Dean shrugged, "Dude, just don't get your panties in a twist, I don't wanna drink. And don't worry, I apologised to my sister twice already..."

"...three times." Holly interjected.

"...yeah I did, ha!" Ignoring the others he walked toward her and pulled her off her stool. "And I want to say sorry again." he said, just to her. 

"So are we good?"

"Yeah, we're good. Look, I don't say this often. In fact this would be a first, but I love you and I promise I'm going to take care of you. I'll be an ass but you'll just have to deal with that."

Putting her arms around his neck she whispered "I'll take you any way you come Winchester." She pulled him to her and they began to kiss passionately.

Behind them John looked on proudly, noting that Dean took after him in more ways than one. He turned back to the bar where he saw the bartender watch the overt public display of affection in abject disgust and horror. "Man, I've seen Deliverance but I didn't think you people actually existed!"

Bobby drained his glass and slammed it down. "Don't worry son, we're leaving. We got a wedding to go to."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dean sat in the Impala now with a smile. He heard Sam stirring next to him and looked over. 

"You ok?"

Sam opened his eyes groggily. "How long was I out?"

"Coupla hours."

"Where are we?"

"Nowhere." Dean turned the wheel and pulled the car over to the side of the road. 

Sam frowned. "Why we stopping?" 

Dean turned off the ignition and looked at him seeing Sam as a six year old all over again. 

Dean sighed. "I wanna say sorry, for leaving you back there, it's something I promised I would never do."

Sam sat up more awake. "Dean, it's ok, I understand."

"No man, you don't. It's my job to take care of you. I didn't and I'm saying sorry, so you gonna argue or just accept it?"

Sam huffed with a smile "OK, I accept your apology. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Nope, but there is something you can do for me."

"Sure, Dean, anything."

Dean reached across him and opened the glove compartment. Taking out the envelope that Bobby had handed him he weighed it in his hands. 

"You can sit with me while I read this."

Sam smiled and knew that whatever had happened or however hurt Dean was, he had his brother back. 


	3. Chapter 3

Sam looked at Dean and nodded giving him the strongest look he could muster. 

"Go ahead, open it."

Dean grimaced and tore open the large envelope and immediately he saw that familiar scrawl. His mind went back to the notes that were always dotted about various motel rooms saying that she loved him.

Sighing, he slowly removed the letter.

He'd already hidden enough from his brother and instinct told him that this was the beginning of something so he held the letter between the two of them so that Sam would be able to read it to.

"Are you sure you don't want to read it first?" Sam asked frowning.

"Nah, you're gonna know sooner or later what it says."

Sam shrugged and they sat shoulder to shoulder as they read.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Dean, _

_All the time that I__m writing __this letter to you, I'm praying that you never get to read it because if you do then it means I am gone and I never got to tell you face to face how much you mean to me. I have thought so long and hard about what I want to say to you but words will never be sufficient. I only hope that my actions in the past have given you some indication of how I feel._

_Just a shot in the dark ,but I'm guessing that it wasn't a peaceful death? If not,then I hope it was quick at least! _

_Well, either way, I'm not scared, after all you taught me death doesn't have to be the end. I know that you always thought you were heading down South but I have much higher expectations of you Winchester. _

_One thing though, if I do come back with a bad case of PMS then I trust I won't get any special treatment! You have my permission to salt and burn my ass!_

_I know you better than you know yourself so whether you're reading this a week from now or twenty years on, then I can bet that you have found some reason to blame yourself for my death, it's what you do._

_No matter what happens, remember this: you're the strongest person I ever met in my life but even you can't save the world._

_I wish I could be like one of those women in the movies who is capable of telling the man they love to meet someone else, be happy and have children. _

_We never did bullshit each other Dean and I gotta tell you, the thought of you with anyone but me is enough to make me want to heave. It would be nice to be noble but that was never my style._

_What I will say is this: just be you. You do an amazing job and the world is a safer place with you in it._

_I think you always understood that I had issues, it's understandable after all but when I met you, you were the best therapy I could have asked for. I know you don't go in for slush but meeting someone who saw me as Holly and not as the victim of some crime meant the world to me._

_We were always going to be fighting the odds when all said and done, but I think we did Ok together. You were one stubborn son of a bitch Dean and I was a harridan but between us we had some wicked chemistry and that's what I want you to remember about me. Oh, and those Hooters shorts!_

_If I'm dead then Bobby knows it's up to him to tell my family - it's a deal we made a long time ago so don't get mad. We made an agreement on our wedding day, one of us had to be responsible after all!_

_I know we didn't really discuss family that much but I heard on the circuit that you hooked up with Sam again and for that I'm thankful, you always did need someone watching that cute ass! He sounds like an amazing guy. I hope one day that I get to meet him._

_I have enclosed an envelope containing the key and address of my storage space in Massachusetts. All that you find inside belongs to you. It's our past and our history. I had this stupid notion once that we would go there together laughing at our stupidity and stubborness but hey, shit happens. _

_So now for the tough part:_

_I know that you didn't like to talk about what happened to me with Walden, but Dean, it explains so much that I feel I have to tell you something._

_When I was first taken as a kid I didn't even pray to be rescued. For the first few months I truly believed that someone would burst through the door at any second. I had this innocent faith that I wasn't supposed to wind up that way; locked up and helpless. I had dreams of my parents tearing the town apart looking for me._

_Needless to say rescue didn't happen and when you abandon hope, you abandon life. _

_Eventually I had to come to terms with the fact that no one was coming to get me. I can still remember the exact moment when I realised that I was all alone. I should have been terrified but it was a moment of epiphany for me. I actually grew stronger with the knowledge that I was solely responsible for my own salvation. I did what I had to do to survive Dean, and I'm not ashamed for any of it. _

_The reason I'm writing this now is to tell you that I had given up on the idea of heroes long ago until I met you. Sure, you're good with a gun and a stake but that's not the type of hero I mean. You were the only person in my life who never hurt me or tried to change me in any way. You always underestimated yourself in so many ways and never believed in where your real strength lay. When I think that I was the one to let you down, it kills me. _

_I can't tell you how much it destroyed me to leave you. Of all people, you must know how revenge can eat away at you until it takes away anything good you ever had in life. I couldn't bear the thought of anyone else going through what I did. _

_I always played it down but being with you was like having a band-aid put on my past. I just always felt safe with you and that's nothing to kid about but even you couldn't protect me from my own personal demons in the end._

_I needed to do that final job Dean, on my own. It was my trauma and I didn't want you to be a part of it. When I was done, I wasn't the Holly you knew, I was nothing. I didn't want you to see that. I hope you'll understand. _

_There's a document inside another envelope. In it, you'll finally get to know the truth, about everything. I think you should read that before you continue with this letter. _

Frowning Dean looked over at Sam and then inside the envelope. He found a small package which he guessed contained the key to the storage locker. Putting it on the dash he reached back in and removed another envelope. It was made of card so that the contents wouldn't bend. 

Opening the top he could see straight away what it was and he paused. 

Sam did a double take and looked over at him. 

Dean had a hand over his mouth, his eyes were shut. 

"Dean?"

Sam looked back down at the birth certificate, his mind drawing the obvious conclusions. Dean's eyes had tears in them.

"It's not what you think Dude, I read Holly's medical records myself...we...I mean she couldn't have kids. Cos of what happened to her you know?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, she wouldn't mess with something like that."

A feeling of dread had started to rise in the pit of Dean's stomach and he tried to swallow the bile that lurched up into his throat.

He exhaled and like pulling a plaster off a raw wound he pulled the birth certificate out in one swift movement. 

They both looked down. 

The birth certificate was dated five years previously. It said that an infant boy was born at Medville County Hospital to Hayley Hart-Cooper. 

As if as one both sets of eyes went to the entry where the fathers name would be listed, and there it was. Oscar Walden's name in black and white. 

Dean heard Sam's sharp intake of breath and his head went to his hands. "God, I was such a jerk. I should have known."

Sam was trying to take it in and his mind was reeling. "Christ she was barely nineteen. The poor girl. Jesus." Coming to his senses, he looked at Dean. "How could you have known?"

"If I wasn't such an asshole she might have told me that's why!" He shouted, more to himself than to Sam. 

"Dean c'mon man, we don't know that. It's obviously something she felt she had to keep to herself. She had her reasons, there's nothing you could have done."

Dean sniffed. Looking once more, he saw adoption records. The child had been adopted the same day he was born. Holly had never seen her son. 

Sam held Holly's letter in front of them once more, his face urging Dean to read it to the end.

_So now you know the truth Dean. _

_I really don't know what to say to you about it all. It happened so long ago, to someone who wasn't me. Don't beat yourself up because you never knew, there's no point. No one knew except my family and that Cop that I told you about. I told you my parents were religious, well, no matter what happened to me they could never have dealt with something like that. I know that you want an explaination but also that you always were uncomfortable with "chick stuff" as you used to call it. I'll keep it brief and just say that it was a rough birth and afterwards it killed any chance that we'd have our own child one day. I got to hold my son once and you know what? I loved him, even though his father was a monster. I was pretty sick and they had to do an operation, when I came to, he was gone. My scars were the only thing to show he ever existed in the first place. I don't want you to feel bad for me, I'm not looking for the sympathy vote here. _

_I bet you're wandering why I didn't let you just carry on living in blissful ignorance of these facts. Truth is there's something I need you to do for me..._

_This part I am glad to be doing in a letter because I can almost hear you screaming from here when you read on. Fact is, you were right all along and I shouldn't have gone to get Walden on my own. When I left you to go kill him, I underestimated the power he had over me. I should have listened to you Dean, and I'm sorry. Walden's gone, that much I know for sure, but I didn't kill him. He knew about our son, and so I knew I had to go find him and protect him. When you came looking for me, I was gone because I had a new hunt. This hunt has taken me everywhere trying to find my son. You know, I even went back to New Orleans? I know that my son is in danger but it's like he just disappeared off the face of the Earth. I've hunted other things in between, but it's my main focus now and it has to be._

_Look, maybe it's already too late but if you're reading this then it means I've failed and I'm praying that you'll just look past everything else and do this for me. _

_There's a PO Box number for my sister Emma. She's a cool girl, I think you'll like her. We've kept in touch and she was always there for me to no matter what. She will have received her own letter from Bobby by now. No matter where she is, if you leave a message for her she'll find you. She can fill in any blanks. _

_Dean, I know you'll be angry, hurt and a million of other things besides but if it helps you deal with it, just treat it like another job and forget our differences. I know you'll do what's best. _

_One more thing...no matter what, I don't regret a single second of our time together. I just want you to know that I always loved you._

_Holly Winchester_

Sam sat back in his seat and exhaled. He didn't know what to think. They'd kept secrets all their lives from people that they cared about but this was pretty major. 

Dean opened the door to the Impala and got out. The sun was setting, and Sam watched his brother sit on the hood, his shoulders shaking gently. 

Sam opened his own door, he had no idea what he could say to his brother that wouldn't sound trite right now. 

He struggled out of the car and walked round the front. What he found, was not what he was expecting. 

"Dean, are you laughing!"

Dean's shoulders continued to shake and he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. Finding his breath finally he looked over at Sam with a smile. "I swear to God man, I never knew anyone so full of surprises as that woman. Christ, she was a pain in the ass all the time I knew her. Even when she's dead she still gets the last word in! She's incredible." He shook his head in disbelief. 

Sam had to smile. "Yeah, she wasn't dull."

"Hey, you know, I should be mad as hell at her, but I spent the last three days just remembering all these amazing things she could do. I don't think there'll ever be anyone else like her. I can't hate her any more'n I can hate you Sammy."

"That's good to know. So what do you want to do?"

Dean's laughter wore off and he shrugged. "I guess I have to go do what she says, like I always did. Knowing her she'd just haunt my ass if I didn't."  
Sam laughed but his eyes were still full of concern. 

"This could take a while, wanna share some of those stories with me?"

Dean looked across at him, and got up from the hood. "Man, some of the stories I could tell you about that girl would make your toes curl and your hair stand on end."

This time the laugh was genuine. "Yeah? Ok, well let's hit the road then."


	4. Chapter 4

The story continues from the revelations in the letter. I wanted to go a bit more into Holly's story...I promise the plot will heat up though!! (let me know who you want me to hurt and make limp and I will make them suffer !!)

The torture aspect seems to go down well. So this one's for you DramaWhore!!

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Dean pulled the Impala up to the kerb and checked the address on the paper. He definately had the right one. 

"This is it." He said to Sam. They had come to find Holly's sister Emma using the PO Box number she'd given them. Now, here they were; Cambridge Masachussetts.

"Nice place."

They both hesitated to get out of the car wondering what lay ahead. Looking up at the house, Dean took in the neat white building. It was small but well kept with a wrap round porch. 

Sam was waiting for Dean to make the first move and it was obvious that Dean wasn't going anywhere in a hurry. 

The decision was made for them however when the screen door opened and a young blonde woman stepped out onto the porch. She was wearing jeans and a white vest, her feet were bare and her long hair hung down her back. 

She watched them carefully and then she smiled in a way that indicated that she understood their reluctance to come in. 

Without saying a word Dean got out of the car. Sam hung back a little wanting to give them a little space. 

Walking up the path to the door, Dean looked up at her. He could definately see the resemblance to Holly, they had the same eyes, same full lips. But the colouring and the attitude were different. Holly had something exotic about her, there was always that edge of danger, a wildness that even he struggled to reign in. Emma seemed relaxed, almost laid back. Very cool. 

Dean stopped. He was lost for words. He was looking at a sister in law he'd never even met. Sam had been through the same thing he guessed. At least when he'd met Holly, she'd been so badly hurt that he had other things to focus on. She seemed to sense his unease, and looked at him like she was weighing him up. 

Slowly, she walked down the two steps that separated them. Without any awkwardness, she stood on tiptoes and put her arms around his neck hugging him to her. 

He'd expected a lot, but not this. He didn't quite know how to react so he took his hands out of his pockets and gently laid them on her back. 

"God, it's nice to finally meet you Dean." She released him and looked into his eyes. She was still smiling but was fighting the tears. "This is so weird. I feel like I know you so well." She glanced over his shoulder. "That Sam?"

Dean snapped out of his catatonic state and glanced back to see Sam uncurling himself from the front seat. "Yeah, that's him."

She stepped around Dean and went to Sam. Standing in front of him she barely came up to his chest. Rubbing her nose slightly she ignored the single tear that rolled down one cheek.

"Hi Sam, I'm glad that you could make it."

He was a bit stunned that she was so at ease with them,it seemed strange as they had been so wary of coming. 

Turning on her heel she walked back past Dean and hopped onto the porch. Holding open the door, she nodded inside, "C'mon, what are you waiting for?"

Dean still hadn't said a word and looking back at his little brother he saw him shrug and they both followed her inside. 

When they walked in, they felt more at ease. It was evidently a young woman's house. It was comfortable, airy and welcoming, She led them through the small hallway and gestured into a room on the right, 

"Go inside, make yourselves at home. I'll be back in a second."

They stepped into the small den. It had two sofa's a small TV and one mother of a bookshelf which commanded attention over everything else. They both felt compelled to go and take a look at it. Whilst Sam was checking the book titles and authors Dean focused on the family portraits. They were all either of Holly or her and Emma together.

He realised with a pang that he didn't have one photograph of Holly. When he had her he hadn't felt the need for one and when she had left he hadn't wanted one. Now, he saw someone completely different in these photographs, He wasn't looking at Holly, but at Hayley and the girl she had once been. The thought made him sad, she looked so different. Young, innocent and carefree. He couldn't equate this image to the one in his head of Holly decapitating vampires and fending off rapists. 

He was brought back to the present when Emma came back in carrying three open beer bottles. She offered two to them in one hand.

"Please, take a seat" She gestured to the sofa nearest them. 

Once they had sat down she grabbed a seat opposite and pulled her feet under her. 

She couldn't keep her eyes off Dean. She grinned. "You're exactly as Hayley described. I mean, I saw a photo once but..."

Dean shifted awkwardly, more for the fact that she referred to Holly as Hayley more than anything else. He was finding this more difficult than he thought possible. He took a swig of his beer. "You're different to how I imagined. I mean, you're different to Holly...I mean Hayley." He frowned.

"That's ok you can call her Holly, she preferred it. It was only me who ever got to call her Hayley."

"So, you know why we're here right?" asked Dean. 

Sam looked slightly uncomfortable at his brother's tactlessness. 

"Yeah, I know, " she replied unfazed. "God alone knew, Hayley needed enough help when she was alive but even now...she's still running rings round us." She took a drink of her beer to keep her emotions in check. Finding her composure she continued. "You know she talked so much about you, and all your adventures together that I know this must be awkward for you. I mean, you don't know me. You're at a disadvantage."

"I guess we just came here for some answers." Sam jumped in. "Holly said that you were the only one of her family that she still talked to."

"Yeah, we were pretty tight, you know after..."she looked at Dean. "I don't speak to the rest of my family any more. Neither of us did."

"Why?" asked Sam. He obviously felt more comfortable in this conversation than his brother. In fact he felt incredibly at ease. 

"Huh, for a million and one reasons. What they did, what they didn't do. When Hayley escaped and was found alive it should have been the end for her. Turns out it was just the beginning of a new torture. They didn't make it any easier on her."

"So how did the two of you remain so close. You didn't share their views?" 

"Hell no. They'd given up on her a long time before she came back into our lives, but I never could. And then later when I knew what she'd done for me...I upped and left with her. I had to stick by her. I didn't look back and neither did she."

Dean sat forward, arms on his knees as if only just joining in the conversation. "What she did for you?"

Emma shrugged, "Huh, she always did downplay her heroics...I'm not surprised she didn't tell you. I didn't even know til I saw a tape of one of her therapy sessions. I had to know what had happened even if my parents didn't want to know."

Sam frowned. God, what next? "I don't understand."

"See, she never would have said anything but as part of her therapy she was regressed, it was supposed to help the therapist understand her better. I think his hair went white overnight the poor bastard." She glanced at them knowing they were waiting for the punchline. "Hayley and I had always been close as kids, I was two years younger and wanted to be just like her. We shared a room, growing up. I used to bug the hell out of her but I was still her little sister and I knew she loved me.I guess I never realised just how much." She took a deep breath and wiped at her eyes. Taking a swig of beer. "Walden didn't come for Hayley that night. He came for me."

Dean sat back and Sam's eyebrows shot up. 

"The night it happened I had the flu, I was dosed up on all sorts of medication. I never forgave myself for not waking up when he took her...when I saw that tape though the truth came out. Hayley had woken up in the night to find Walden in the room standing over my bed. He had a knife. She could have screamed, she could have done anything but instead she begged for my life. So Walden went for her. I think he would have killed her there and then but..."

Dean was staring ahead with his jaw clenched. Sam's face was compassionate. 

"Hayley offered herself to him in return for my life, said she'd do anything he wanted if he left me alone. " She ended. Her hand was shaking as it ran through her hair. "Even now, I can't forgive myself for what she went through. Maybe she thought it would just be a couple of days til she was found. I mean, she was sixteen for Christs' sake, she couldn't have known what she was letting herself in for."

Dean looked across at his little brother and had to admit he could understand what she had done and why. But at her age? It's something most people wouldn't have been capable of. Again, he felt fierce pride for the woman and an unimagineable anger that she was gone.

"That wasn't the end though. She told the therapist that he used to threaten me all the time to get her to do things...unspeakable things. He would follow me, to school, church...he had photos and he would go back home and show her how easily he could get to me."

The tears were streaming down her face now and Dean had his head bent low. 

She looked at Sam. "She used to fight him she really did but in the end all it ever took was for him to dangle my life on a hook and she did anything he wanted."

"It must have been tough on you when you found out." Sam said, knowing how he felt when Dean put himself on the line for him.

"Tough? Believe me, I got off lightly. She may not have known that I knew the truth, but she never resented me for a second. She went to hell and back for me and came back stronger than ever. She's, I mean, she was incredible."

Dean didn't know when this would ever end. He thought that knowing about all her injuries had been bad enough but he was wrong. This was so much worse because he could almost see it now. How could he not? She'd done what he had been doing all his life, she'd protected her younger sibling in the only way she knew how. She'd forsaken her life, body and soul to save her sister. She'd always been the stronger one of the two of them, perhaps not physically but in all the ways it counted. He vowed that he wouldn't shy away from the details about her abduction any longer, he was the only one who would be able to get her closure once and for all. 

"What else did she say in the tapes?" He asked with stronger resolve. 

Sam looked at him and could see that his brother was no longer thinking about his own pain, he was now focused on revenge. He would know that look anywhere. No longer thinking like a man, he was thinking like a Hunter and it was like a switch flipped in front of Sam's eyes. 

"I don't think you want to hear most of it to be honest. No one in their right mind would. She went to the therapist almost daily, she had to...He took her through it all again, but she'd never remember at the end of the session and they would just talk it through. You could see how she changed over the months of captivity. It was amazing, how she coped. She always had an active imagination and when she had nothing else to do she would escape in her mind, apparently that's what stopped her going insane. It also helped her deal with..."

"What?" Sam asked softly. 

"The pain. She taught herself how to block it out. Once, she told me that he broke three of her fingers. She reset them like it was nothing. The Doctors were shocked she could even walk when she came out it was that bad. She had to go through so much again afterwards just in the hospital. She used to do anything to get through it; recite the times table, build houses brick by brick in her mind...she used to sing to herself too."

Sam tried to imagine a sixteen year old who was able to train her mind in a way that grown men in combat couldn't even manage. 

"She used to count the minutes, do sums, make up recipes...anything. She had a whole other life in her head that she could retreat to. Later on, before the end you could see how she'd changed...the images grew darker. That was after he'd stabbed her."

She seemed to snap out of her reverie for a second. "When we used to talk about what happened, she only ever talked about what happened after that night. It was as if she was in control from that time on."

Sam cast his mind back to the day in the motel when Holly had told him about how Walden had stabbed her and then, realising he still needed her, he had saved her life.

"She told me he used to bring her books."

She smiled. "She always used to say that he educated her in his own way. She was wrong though, it was all Hayley. Or should I say Holly."

Dean was confused. "What do you mean?"

"I started to sit in on therapy sessions with her as she grew more comfortable in dealing with it. The therapist explained it all to me. Hayley didn't change her name when she left home Dean. Her name changed the night she was stabbed, when the life she was living in her head became reality."

Dean frowned trying to comprehend what she was saying."Are you saying she had a split personality?"

"It's complicated, basically she had this other life in her head as Holly, Holly grew up alone but strong, she was capable and fearless. She was the equal to any man and she knew it." 

Dean's brow furrowed deeper. Sam gulped uncomfortably. this was Dean's wife they were talking about as though she were a case study in some classroom.

"There's nothing unusual about it, it's documented." She continued."Hayley had to die for her body to survive and so this other person took over. It was a coping mechanism. She was bleeding to death and whilst Hayley was ready to go, a voice in her head was yelling _hell no. _Finally that voice won over and Holly was born."

Dean was stunned and if he was going to be brutally honest, freakin' out big time!

"Listen, Dean, I don't know you and maybe I'm going about this all wrong. If what she told me about you is true, then you can understand how someone can change so completely when they go through a painful experience."

Sam and Dean both knew she was referring to their dad. He had changed when their mom had died but not in the same way. 

"So Holly was a lie?" Dean asked slowly.

Emma leant forward and looked at him, "No Dean, Holly wasn't a lie, she was real. She wasn't crazy, she knew that Hayley was still there, somewhere. If she hadn't have done what she did, she'd be dead now. It's how she survived so long. Do you think Hayley would have had the strength to let another man touch her?" She shook her head. "But as Holly, she could get on with her life. She was able to fall in love"

Dean stood up and went to the window. He was struggling to take this all in. Who had he fallen in love with? It was as if he was hearing about a stranger. It was too surreal even by his standards and he couldn't understand it. Nevertheless he'd promised that he would deliver on this one and he meant it. 

He heard Emma again, "Fact is, Holly was just the stronger part of her character, she showed no fear when she gave herself up to Walden.That strength had always been there, she just didn't know it until circumstance brought it out of her. She just gave it another name."

Sam was fascinated by it all. He had found Holly complex to begin with but now he was even more intrigued with this woman who had become the strongest person anyone in the room had ever met. He knew they weren't ready yet to broach the subject of the child that she'd had, but he still needed to know certain things.

"One thing's always intrigued me." Sitting forward he put his empty beer bottle on the table."Holly didn't go to school right? She was educated by a janitor yet she went to college?"

Suddenly the atmosphere was broken by her light hearted laughter, shocking them both. She stood up."I'll get some more beer, Guys," she winked at them. "If you thought Holly could blow you away before, you ain't heard nothing yet."

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They all had fresh beers and the tone in the room had changed noticeably. It was clear to both brothers that Emma hero-worshipped her sister and was proud to be talking about her accomplishments. 

"You know she went to Harvard right?" She said smiling.

Sam looked at Dean whose face mirrored his for shock. 

She didn't need to wait for an answer, "Like I said, she was pretty modest. That's why we moved here so she could go to school." She laughed again, her eyes recalling a distant memory. "When she had decided to draw a line under what had happened, she was so determined to get on with things, like she'd wasted enough time thinking about the past and just wanted to get on with her life. So she literally sat down and decided one day that she was going to study psychology and criminology, only the best school was going to be good enough for her. She hadn't been to school for years and never sat her SAT's but she went ahead and wrote a letter to the Dean of Harvard." She chuckled. "She figured who better to study the criminal mind than someone who'd spent so long locked up with a psycho? She'd spent months with a therapist and her closest friend was a cop. She couldn't lose. So she got a reply saying thanks but no thanks, so she demanded a meeting in front of the board of education, the Dean and his musty old cronies."

Dean smiled, now this was sounding more like his Holly and he was relieved. 

"So what happened?" Sam was pulled in hook, line and sinker.

"She demanded an IQ test first. So that morning, she went off to the school and she sat her IQ test with a controller from MENSA. That afternoon, she went into this meeting. I went too, so did Dr Jackman, her therapist and Frank, the cop that she'd become close to. Oh, guys, I swear, I almost died. They were all sat there on a panel like they were putting her to trial. It terrified me, but she couldn't care less. She'd seen scarier stuff and these guys weren't gonna intimidate her any time soon!"

Sam, laughed imagining the scene."I dread to think what they must have thought."

Emma agreed. "I think they only granted her an audience because they wanted to see what had happened to the girl they'd all read about. Like she was some sideshow freak or something."

"Anyway, Dr Jackman got up and spoke on her behalf and so did Frank. They assured them she was emotionally stable, capable of dealing with college life. They also made sure that they added in that she had more training in the field than either of them combined." She giggled into her beer. "So then it was Hayley's turn and so she stands in front of them and she just starts telling them how she'd taught herself everything she needed to know. She tells them something of her experiences and what she'd learnt from them. Believe me, there wasn't a dry eye in the house!"

Dean shook his head and asked himself once more what a girl like that had ever seen in him. "So I guess it was in the bag."

"Hell no, they were sorry and everything but started going on about their prestigious college yadda yadda yadda!" She took another drink."I swear, I thought Frank was going to pull his service revolver and take them all out!"

"So? How did she swing it?" Sam was like a child with a bedtime story noted Dean.

"Well, the doors open and in walks the guy from MENSA who finally had the results of the test."  
"And??" Sam was dying. Dean thought he could do without knowing the answer.

"She was declared a freakin' genius. She had an IQ in the top 2 of the population. They were all stunned. Well, we all were except Hayley. She shrugged it off like it was nothing. Like she knew all along. So they went off to have a private conference and we all sat waiting...it was like an hour and they came back. The bunch of old bastards..."

They frowned at her. She was more serious now. "...said they'd be happy to take her and even give her a full ride..."

"But?" Interjected Sam.

"They wanted her to come clean about who she really was, what she was studying and why. She gets an education worth thousands and they get all the free press they want."

"Scumbags." Muttered Dean.

"Right, tell me about it. So Frank's reaching for the gun by now but Hayley sensed this so she gave him a sign to say she could handle it and she got up to speak."

"She always did have a smart mouth...I dread to think what she said."

"Believe me, in all my life I'll never forget what she said. So she stands up and with the straightest face imaginable she says 'I admire your establishment greatly and your roles within it. But I've physically been forced to bend over and get fucked in the ass by someone much scarier than you gentlemen, so I repectfully decline.'"

"HA! That's my girl." Dean laughed.

Sam followed and soon they were all falling about laughing. 


	5. Chapter 5

So the next few chapters are a lot shorter, as the story unfolds. I have to admit I had no idea of what was going to happen after the last one. Then, as if in a revelation, it came to me. As always with me, it's a little twisted but I like that. So, I started writing frantically and just couldn't wait to get to the final scene!!

For those of you that have followed it so far, thanks so much, I hope you enjoy.

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They had spent some time laughing and trying to forget horror but inevitably it had to be confronted.

Sam decided to broach the subject. "Emma, I know it's got to be tough going through all this again but we have to ask about the baby."

Dean had braced himself for this moment but now that it was here, he really didn't want it to be.

Emma's eyes misted over once more. "Of all the things that ever happened, letting that kid go was the only thing that she was ever ashamed of. There's actually not a huge amount to say about it. When she came back, no one knew, least of all her. She was half starved and nothing but skin and bone. Even so, I don't think it was something she ever would have expected. The Doctors told my family first simply because they thought she wouldn't be able to handle it. God, you should have seen our parents. They were just so busy praying for her soul they were no good to anyone. So it was me that told her."

"She must have freaked "Dean exhaled heavily.

Emma shook her head and shrugged."Actually no, I think she thought it was just another thing to deal with. Perhaps it didn't hit her then but she was pretty calm. It was my parents that freaked. They were saying she was giving birth to the Anti-Christ...they couldn't help themselves. In the end Dr Jackman had to stop them from seeing her. He couldn't risk them making matters worse. I think they were relieved in a way."

"So what happened?"

"Because Hayley had been abducted as a minor she was deemed incapable by the courts of making decisions for her own care. My parents went to court to try to force her to abort the baby."

Sam huffed. "You're kidding? Surely they didn't believe in that."

"Apparently when you're dealing with 'the devil's spawn' all bets are off. I mean, it got nasty. The papers were banned from printing anything but this fight raged for a good while."

"Until?" Dean prompted.

"Frank petitioned the courts to assume guardianship of Hayley along with his wife Beth."

"Was that even possible?"

"It was a legal precedent, that's for sure. I had to go to court and give evidence that my parents wouldn't be able to make the right decisions. I said that if Hayley went then I would too. In the end the Supreme court got involved and as time was runnning out, they had to make a decision. They went with Frank in the end. Thank God."

"Was she even aware what was going on?"

"To an extent, we kept a lot from her but she knew she was having a baby, there was no denying it.She'd been having so many operations and treatments that I think she had to concentrate on that."  
"So you went to live with Frank and his wife?"

"Hell, I didn't even go to pick up my stuff from home. Their kids were grown and at college so I moved right in."

"And your parents just let you?" Dean frowned.

"Yeah, I wish. One night we got a call from the hospital that my parents were trying to get in to see Hayley. They had their lawyers and even another Doctor and a Minister. It was pandemonium. Those quacks wanted to drug her and exorcise her."

Sam looked at Dean who was visibly uncomfortable. They'd perfomed their fair share of exorcisms in unusual circumstances but this was insane.

"What did you do?" Sam asked.

"Frank went ballistic. He walked into the hospital with some cops he knew and he had them put into custody. Then he just marched into her room, picked her up and walked out with her still bundled in the hospital sheets. We ended up going upstate to a lodge that he borrowed from someone and the four of us stayed there. Dr Jackman moved nearby, he'd cleared all his cases so he could focus on Hayley and he came by every day to work with her."

"Surely the courts wouldn't allow that? "Sam was trying to remember his days of pre-law and finding it difficult to recall such a bizarre and disturbing case.

"The battle raged on, believe me and I don't think the courts knew what to do. Hayley wasn't capable of raising a child on her own, I was too young and Frank wasn't a blood relative. My parents were clearly nuts and wanted the baby dead. So even though they judged that Hayley and I could stay with them, they couldn't decide what to do with the baby."

Sam hung his head shaking it gently. Dean was still silent but his mind was flying.

"In the end, after months of this they made the baby a ward of the state. We were appealing this and planning to have Hayley testify to prove that she was sane and wanted to raise the baby with Frank and Beth helping her."  
"Did she?"

"She didn't get the chance. She went into labour and we barely got her to the hospital on time. She almost died, again. Social Services came to take the baby away. It took four guys to restrain Frank and poor Beth was just distraught. It was a nightmare."

"So the baby, was just adopted and no one got any say in it?"

"At that point Hayley was the only person who could have done something but she was too far gone. By the time she was well enough, it was too late."

"Do you know who got the baby? Anything?" Dean asked coming to his senses finally.

"We tried, believe me, but because Frank was involved in the case he couldn't get any access and the courts were ruling that the baby should have anonymity under the circumstances. I doubt even the adoptive parents knew about where they got him."

"So we have nothing to go on?" Dean stood up and started to pace.

"Hayley looked for a long time and didn't get anywhere, she went all over the country. Even when she was with you Dean She always looked but then after what happened two years ago, it really spurred her on and it was all she thought about. She was convinced she had to protect her little boy and would stop at nothing. She never told me where she went, what she'd done, I have no idea where she kept her records."

Dean thought for a second and then going to the chair, he removed an envelope from his pocket. Tearing it open he held up a key in front of Emma and Sam. "No, but I have an idea that I might."

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As it was out of office hours they found that the storage lock up was closed for the night. Since when had that stopped them?

They might have picked the lock but the gate was electrically controlled. It didn't look like there was a guard but Dean still wasn't sure.

"I think you should go back to the car." He turned around and said to Emma.

"The Hell I will. "She looked at Sam. "Gimme a boost."

Before Dean could object Sam had one of her small feet in his cupped hands and had hoisted her almost to the top of the eight foot high gate. Emma made it herself the rest of the way and swung a leg neatly over the top, landing on the other side, her knees bending to absorb the impact. Dean hit Sam on the shoulder with a scowl and made a mental note not to underestimate anyone Hayley was related to. Dean took a few steps back and took a run at the gate, taking just seconds to vault over the top. Sam had little problem following behind.

The number on the key was 618 and they had no issue in locating it using the signs. The lock up was more like a garage than a container and Dean wondered what they would find. Squatting on his haunches he slipped the key in the padlock and began to raise the door. It was only up to his head height when he looked inside.

"Man, I don't believe it."

"What?" Sam whispered urgently.

Dean smiled at him over his shoulder and stood up lifting the door as he went. Sam stepped inside after Dean and watched as his brother circled the red Corvette inside.

"I can't believe she went back and got this. Same plates, hell, I even remember this scratch. The woman never could park." he laughed at Sam who stood watching him amused.

"She always did love that car." Emma said from the door. "Hunted it like anything else. I had to drive her all the way to Nebraska to go get it. Made the guy an offer he couldn't refuse."

Dean laughed, believing every word. "Only time I ever saw her cry when I had to sell this thing. I ever tell you Sammy?"

Sam was smiling, loving the fact that Dean was animated again for the first time in days. "No, you didn't"

"Six hours of drinking tequila. Wooo, man, I thought I was going to lose the Impala to her. That girl could drink! Ha!"

Emma was making a slow circuit of the garage. Suddenly a small light flipped on and the brothers both turned to look at her.

She had illuminated a wall of research that would have made any hunter proud. Slowly moving towards it Dean whistled softly. She'd been to practically every state. There were police records, legal documents...everything.

"Looks like something Dad would put together." Sam said frowning at some of it.

"What can I say, she learnt from the best!"

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean and turned around. The opposite wall was home to an arsenal of weaponry and ammunition. Nothing unusual in that, but just crazy considering Holly's past.

Sam saw a book lying on a bench and picked it up. After a second he called to his brother. "Hey, Dean, take a look at this..."

Dean wandered over and looked over his shoulder then with a frown went to take the album from him. Dean flicked slowly through the pages taking in the headlines that had been pasted in meticulously.

_...'Girl saved from drowning in hotel pool'..._

_...'Commercial Jet makes miracle landing'..._

_...'hikers make it out of woods following Grisley attack'..._

He flicked through slightly faster. "It's all our cases...every single one. She kept tabs on us."

Sam put a hand on his shoulder. "Not us, Dean. You."

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They were back at Emma's house having collected all of Holly's research. Sam was sat in the den trying to go through it all. He didn't know how confident he was, but he was assisted in his task by Holly's meticulous notes. She timed and dated everything. She had contact names and numbers for every person that she had spoken to.

In the last two years, she had interviewed nurses, lawyers, adoption agencies yet seemed to get nowhere.

Dean meanwhile was stood in the kitchen leaning on the counter while Emma cooked. It smelt amazing and suddenly he was transported back to the days when Holly used to cook for him. He felt a little sad but had to admit that the memory warmed rather than choked him. He found Emma good company and easy to talk to you. Not as exciting as her sister maybe, she'd been someone that Dean could really spar with. Emma was comfortable without being homely, like you could put her in any situation and she'd be fine. She was confident but unlike her sister, not cocky with it. Kind of like him and Sam he thought off-handedly.

"Do you mind if I ask you something Dean?"

"Sure go ahead."

Emma turned from the oven, her skin was flushed slightly from the heat or emabarrassment, he wasn't sure which. "Where is she? My sister?"

Dean coughed, clearing his throat. He may have been comfortable with her but he still folded his arms slightly defensively. "Wyoming. I took her to Wyoming."

She smiled slightly. "Is it nice? I mean, where she is?"

He tried to return the smile but was finding it difficult. "Yeah.,it's nice. I can take you sometime. If you want."

"I'd really like that."

He shrugged in response, like it was no big deal.

"There's something else. Bobby wrote to me and told me what happened. But I...wow,this is tough."

He knew he wasn't going to like this and he guessed he knew what was coming. He had to let her off the hook, it was too hard to watch her suffer. Hell, he didn't know what he'd do if it was him in her position.

"She didn't suffer. She wasn't in any pain."

"Something tells me you wouldn't have known if she was. She wasn't alone was she?"

Dean could feel his throat constricting but he didn't let it show. "No. I was there. At the end."

She looked at him for a long moment. Taking a hesitant step toward him Dean watched her warily. Then very quickly she leant over and cupping one hand to his face she

kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you. For everything."

Dean frowned wandering what he'd done to deserve that but she'd already gone back to the stove and the moment had passed.

Sam walked in a second later. Ignoring the palpable atmosphere he seemed a little relieved. "I think Holly may have been on to something...it could be a lead."

Emma turned from the stove. "Supper's ready, you can tell us while we eat if that's ok."

"Sure." Sam smiled at her.

Sam rarely had much of an appetite and couldn't bear most of the food that constituted his brothers day to day diet.This food was amazing though, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a home cooked meal. Bobby's chilli could hardly be called food at all. He ate so much that Emma had to go back to the kitchen and get the saucepan to serve him seconds.

"Wow, I knew about Dean's appetite. But if I'd have known about yours, I would have gotten a bigger pan." She said pouring some more stew onto his plate.

Dean watched as his brother smiled at Emma and he frowned. He guessed it must be a genetic thing, either that or the Cooper girls were just born to love the Winchesters. Christ, he'd have to keep an eye on this.

"So Sammy, what have you got for us?"

Sam waited til he'd swallowed his food. Making Dean roll his eyes at him. Sam scowled and held up a finger, took a sip of water and patted his mouth with a napkin. Emma had returned to the table and was also waiting.

"Well, Holly made these pretty amazing notes on everything. Down to the last little detail. Then toward the end they just kind of stop."

"Maybe she just ran out of leads Sammy?"

"No, I think it may be more than that. We knew that she left to go to Sherwin but while she was there, I think that she hit on something. There was mention of a couple that she had traced. She'd never been able to find the adoptive parents because the records were sealed. She even got a job at the main records office but never turned up anything."

"So you think this could be the adoptive parents? Why would she think that, if there was no file?" Emma asked.

Sam got up from the table and retrieved a file. He flicked through it and found what he was looking for. He took the newspaper clipping out and put it in the middle of the table. Dean and Emma both leaned forward.

Sam gave them the facts in a nutshell."There was a fire in the couples house. They barely made it out alive. When they were later questioned the mother freaked out and told the cops that her son had set fire to the house deliberately. Her four year old son. That article is a year old...he'd be five now." They both looked at him. "So Holly did some digging and turns out that the little boy was adopted."

"So what happened?" Dean asked.

"He was put into an institution."

"Seems a bit drastic for a kid playing with matches."

"Yeah maybe. I don't think Holly thought so though. I think she would have followed up on it."

"Ok, so where we headed?"

"Not too far actually...upstate New York."

"Great, we can head out tomorrow." Emma exclaimed.

"Oh, God, not again." Dean groaned.

"What?" She said puzzled.

"What is it with you and your sister? Are you even going to listen to me if I say no?"

"No."

"Don't you have a job to go to?"

"I took some time off...you know, compassionate leave."

"Ok, then! Awkward. Look, we should go first thing so we're gonna head out and get a room somewhere."

"Don't be stupid, you can stay here."

Dean had been about to put his foot down when Sam piped up. "Great, thanks."

Emma smiled, glad that it was settled and got up to take the dirty plates.

When she was gone Dean leaned over and hissed."What was that?!"

"What?"

"Sure, we'd love to stay...gee I love your stew." he mimicked.

"I never said that Dean!" Sam glared standing up.

"Where you going?!"

Sam leaned in close. "To help with the dishes!"

Dean growled as his little brother left the room. Just freakin' great. He was about to hit the road to look for the anti-Christ who also happened to be the step-son he never knew he had. Who did he have watching his back? Nancy Drew and Martha freakin' Stewart. Problem was, he didn't know which one was his brother.

He had such a bad feeling about this.

His mood hadn't improved as he tried to get comfortable on the small couch in the den. Emma only had two doubles and there was no chance in hell he was sharing with his brother so they'd played rock, paper, scissors and, once again Dean had lost. He strained his ears trying to hear the tell-tale squeak of a floorboard that would tell him that his brother had gone to play a game of hide the sausage with his new girlfriend. There weren't any sounds though.

What a wuss! Dean thought as he pounded at the pillow under his head. If that had been him and Holly up there, wild horses wouldn't have kept him out of her room.

He tried not to think about her. Fact was, he didn't want to admit it but he was jealous. He'd caught Sam and Emma goofing around like kids in the bathroom earlier as they brushed their teeth side by side. Like they'd been doing it for years. Watching them together reminded him of what he'd never have again.

He had taken the book of clippings from Holly's lock up and put it in the trunk without letting Sam know. Later when he had a free moment, he would add their wedding photo. The one that he'd found in Holly's clenched hand as she lay dying and kept in his wallet ever since.


	6. Chapter 6

They pulled up in front of the home of the couple who'd had the house fire.

The house was in Schenectady and they'd not had to drive too far to get there. After much debate they'd gone for the Insurance Agents ruse. Now, as they pulled up, Dean thought it'd been the best bet looking at the scaffolding still on the discolored house.

Emma waited in the car as Sam and Dean walked up the driveway through the neglected garden. It was hard not to notice the stacks of newspapers by the door and mail in the slot.

As if confirming their thoughts a voice came from nowhere. "They're not in you know."

Dean and Sam looked at one another and then over to their right where the voice had come from. Dean frowned as he saw an eyeball watching him through a hole in the slats. Going over to the fence Sam had no problem in peering over the top, Dean went slightly up on the balls of his feet to glance over. He nearly jumped back in surprise when he saw an old Jewish woman who was barely four and a half foot tall despite the big blue hair standing up on end. He nudged Sam who pushed him back harder with a look.

The old lady was standing on a stool in her flower bed and still didn't reach the top of the partition. It looked like she'd been watching the house on a regular basis.

"Er Ma'am, " Sam started, "we're with Delta Insurance and we just came to ask your neighbors a few questions." He showed his ID over the top of the fence and a small arm whipped up to grab Sam's wrist. Dean laughed as his younger brother yelped in surprise when his arm was yanked down. She put on a pair of glasses that magnified her eyes like she was looking through the bottom of a bottle, and squinted at the ID.

She let go of his arm which he rubbed painfully getting another amused chuckle from Dean. "They're not coming back. Come on inside though I can tell you everything you want to know."

Sam looked at his highly amused brother. "Sure, ma'am...er, we have a collegue in the car, would you mind if she came along too?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Not a problem...I got plenty of cookies."

The boys turned from the fence to make their way to next doors' property. Sam gestured at Emma who hopped out of the car.

"What is it with you and old ladies huh? Should I be worried?"  
"Shut up Dean!"

Going to the other side of the fence, the old lady still hadn't made it down off the stool. She waved Sam over. Sam frowned at Dean who had one fist clasped to his mouth.

"What are you waiting for, Sam, help the nice lady."

When Sam went over to her she had her arms raised like a toddler. His eyes closed involuntarily and he said 'Oh God.' under his breath as he put his hands under her arms and lifted her from the stool. She kept hold of Sam's arm as she led him towards the house. He could hear Dean coughing loudly behind him as he followed the old woman. She barely came up to his waist. He could feel the heat rise in his cheeks and it was made worse knowing that Emma was there.

Inside the house it was like a furnace and Dean pulled at his tie undoing the top button of his shirt. He looked around him as a million eyes stared in porcelain blindness at him from every available surface. Freaky ass ornaments, he thought. The front room was a nightmare of chintz and velvet making the heat more opressive. Sam and Emma seemed unfazed but with each passing second Dean could feel his balls retreat further into his abdomen in fear. The old lady came in carrying a tray and Sam got up to help her place it on the coffee table getting a face full of lipstick stained dentures for his trouble. God, he must really be trying to impress Emma he thought. Why couldn't their lead have taken them to a nest of vampires or a biker bar? Anywhere more comfortable than this!

"So what can you tell us about the neighbors, Mrs...?"

"Madge." She said handing a cup and saucer of tea to Sam.

"Thanks...Madge."

She passed the tea around. Dean glanced at the dainty cup wobbling in his large calloused hand and put it back on the table.

"Sad story about the neighbors. They were such a nice couple...Mr Conrad used to come and fix my pipes." Dean coughed into his fist again but she didn't seem to notice. "They wanted a family for so long. Poor woman couldn't have children. They tried everything but in the end they had no choice. So they adopted."

"And when was that?" Asked Sam.

"Just over five years ago. They brought little Ethan home, and they were so happy."

"His name was Ethan?" Emma said softly.

Madge frowned at her like she was simple."That's what I said. Everything was going well and like I said they were happy and then it all changed."

"What happened?" Sam asked

"It was little things at first, Ethan started having nightmares, kept seeing things. Said there was someone in his room, like kiddies do."  
"Yeah." Said Dean, looking at Sam and getting a serious glance in return.

"Things just got worse, I used to hear the screams at night...poor little thing, they couldn't do anything to settle him. Then he just..."

"What?" Sam pressed.

"He just changed, went really quiet...all of a sudden. It all just stopped. It was almost worse. Then he started acting up. I raised four children of my own but I never saw anything like that. He was almost scary."  
"What like, Omen scary or more like Pet Semetary scary?" Dean asked. Sam nudged him.

"Did they take him to see anyone?" Emma stepped in.

"Yes, lots of people, they did everything they could. They said it was some type of autism, but they didn't really know. Mr and Mrs Conrad were beside themselves. It was awful. He did some terrible things. I mean, you don't like to say anything, but cats started dying in the neighborhood. He would go out at night and they'd be looking for him and he'd always go back with them but he wasn't afraid to go out alone. Like I said scary."

"Then there was the fire?" Sam prompted.

"I heard the screams and called the fire department myself. They were locked in the house screaming. Ethan was just stood on the front lawn watching. He didn't cry or anything. Mrs Conrad was convinced he did it on purpose. Told the authorities. In the end, they had to take him into care a year ago. She couldn't look after him, she just went to pieces. They moved her into a private clinic."

"So, all the problems with Ethan..."Sam ventured. "...they started?"

"Round about two years ago. He was only three."

"I don't suppose you know where Ethan is now?" Dean asked leaning forward.

"Sure, I got it written down here somewhere."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dean left the house with a relieved sigh and had thrown off his jacket and tie before he was even at the car. They all got in and he started to drive.

"So what do you think we're dealing with Sam? You think Walden's possessing the kid?"

"It's certainly possible, everything matches and there is a chance that he wouldn't just haunt him. He might have seen it as a new lease of life, possess the boy and start over. They're a part of each other after all."

"God, " Emma breathed from the back seat." I knew what you guys dealt with but this is just so strange!"

"Welcome to our world sis." Dean laughed. _What the hell had he just said?!_

She ignored the comment thankfully for him and addressed Sam. "So where do we go from here?"

"Well we need to look into this more, so we get a motel, do some research and then tomorrow hopefully we'll know how to deal.

They found a motel not too far away. They only had a hundred miles to travel to the institute when they were ready and they were all tired.

They got two rooms just a few doors away from one another but Emma came to their room to eat.

Sam left his burger largely uneaten as he tapped away frantically on his laptop.

"So it turns out that The Johnson Institute is a facility for children with special needs."

"Huh?" Dean queried, his mouth full of food.

"Mentally handicapped Dean, I woulda thought you'd have gotten that one!"

"I resent that."

Sam rolled his eyes yet again and addressed Emma "So, it specializes in the treatment of Autism and Aspergers Syndrome. Ethan was taken there as an in-patient a year ago, shortly after that they got a spate of vandalism. Nothing too major to begin with but then there's something really disturbing."

Dean grimaced at his burger and put it down. "I have a feeling that I don't want to hear this."

"I hacked into their records and about six months ago a little girl went missing from the institute. She was found eventually bound and gagged in the woods nearby. Ethan was with her."

"Oh God. " Emma said.

"They weren't too sure but after questioning him, he admitted to kidnapping her. The psych files are pretty grim guys."

"Does he know?" Emma was horrified. "I mean, does he know what he's doing or is it all Walden?"

"Are we even sure it is Walden at all?" Dean asked. "I mean, I hate to say it, he's Holly's kid and we all want to believe the best but who knows? Maybe the apple didn't fall far from the tree."

Sam looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Are you even going to try and debate nature versus nurture with me Dean? C'mon!"

"Maybe the kid's just sick."

"You don't mean that Dean." Emma looked at him. "You deal with this all the time. You can't just write him off."

Dean lay back on his bed and put an arm over his eyes. "I don't know. I mean, if Holly had just let me deal with this in the first place, we wouldn't be here now having this conversation."

Sam tried to keep his tone even. "Dean. Not now. Not here."

Dean looked up and sighed. "Yeah, I know. Look I'm sorry. I just, it's a lot to take in ya know? I mean I thought I knew her, this is just crazy."

"I know man, but we have to get on with this like any other job. That's what Holly wanted from us and she expects you to deliver so just suck it up."

"Ok, Della Street. Assuming this is a possession, you got a ritual to get rid of that evil bastard for good?"

"Maybe." Sam sat frowning at the computer "But we got something else to worry about."

"What?" Emma asked.

"After the adduction they didn't know what to do with Ethan, no childrens facilities were capable of dealing with this kind of problem."

"So, what did they do?... Sammy?"

Sam turned away from the laptop, he was ashen."They moved him into a secure adult facility. They put a five year old boy into an asylum with sociopaths!"

Even Dean was horrified to hear this. "Where the hell is he? That's just twisted. Man!"

"Still in New York, but it's gonna be a bitch to get him out of there. Shit."

Dean was all fire now and felt the familiar thump of the adrenaline. He loved that feeling, it was what kept him going. "Dude, you let me worry about how we get in there, you just worry about how to get rid of Walden." Somehow he had no doubt in his mind now that the kid could be rescued and he was damn well going to be the one to do it.

"Guys, I think I'm going to go back to my room."Emma got up and Sam followed her to the door.

"Are you ok?" he asked, leaning against the open door.

"Yeah, just a long day you know. I'll be fine." Smiling she walked away and Sam shut the door.

Dean looked up from the computer and sniffed. "She'll be fine Sammy, just give her some time."

"Yeah." he said absent-mindedly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After what seemed like hours, Dean put down the rough plans that he had been drawing up.

"Well, I may have a way in but it's a long shot. We still need to find out what room he's in though. That is one freaky old building. It'd scare the bejesus out of anyone let alone a kid. Speaking of which you got anything?"

Sam looked up from his book and nodded not really hearing what Dean was saying. "I've been going through every single ritual and there isn't one I can find that isn't going to hurt him. I mean, we want to get rid of Walden but we can't just tie Ethan up and beat him with sticks."

Dean cocked his head."Yeah, gotta agree with your softly softly approach for once, so what do you suggest?"

"There's only one way, I can think of and I really don't think you're gonna like it."

Dean sat on the edge of the bed listening intently as Sam outlined his plan.

Afterwards Dean's head was in his hands. "You sure there's no other way?"

"Man, if there was, I'd have found it."

His older brother stood up and sighed, "Yeah, I know. Look, I'm gonna hit the hay. I got some stuff I need to pick up tomorrow and something tells me it'll be a long day."

Sam pulled on his boots.

"Where you going? No. Wait. Don't tell me. I can guess. Just..."

"What?"

Dean could think of a million things he wanted to say to his little brother. _I'm glad you're here...I couldn't cope with this without you..._ What was it Holly had said? _Just be yourself. _Ah what the hell

"Make sure you wear a rubber."

Dean turned to go into the bathroom ignoring the grimace Sam gave him as he slammed the motel room door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam knocked gently on the motel room door and it was opened seconds later.

Emma was wearing baggy pyjama bottoms and a tight white vest and Sam thought she looked amazing. Her hair was damp and brushed back from her face. He could smell coconuts and mangos from where he stood. Probably the shampoo.

She stood looking at him. He didn't know if she was lost for words or just waiting for him to say something. It wasn't awkward though...strangely.

Sam stepped inside and closed the door behind him feeling the blood pump in his veins.

He didn't know whether he should make the first move.

She made the decision for him. Taking his hand she led him to the chair nearest the bed and he sat down.

Positioning herself between his legs she was finally the right height. He looked up into her face as she ran her fingers through his hair. Leaning down she took his mouth with hers. His hands moved to her hips and held her closer to him. They kissed for what seemed like forever and he couldn't remember feeling like this in the longest time.

He felt her hands go to the front of his shirt. She undid every button but the last two so she just pulled until they tore off. Easing the shirt from his shoulders she ran her hands down the length of his arms, grabbing the taut muscles along the way.

His hands ran up her back and pulled her arms into the air standing up as he moved further along her body. Holding them there, she let him remove the vest. They stood looking at one another for a second and then as if he couldn't wait any longer he grabbed her under the arms and lifted her into the air. He didn't want to go to the bed just yet, he wanted to enjoy the feeling of holding her there for a little while longer. Keeping one arm on her back his mouth never left hers as his other arm went behind her knees cradling her to him. Her fingers kneaded his shoulder and the other hand pulled at his hair. Her breath was getting heavy and her lips went to his neck. Slowly he walked over to the bed and bracing one knee on the mattress he lowered her onto it. As he lay her down she looked up at him with heavy eyes. Her hair was spread like a halo around her head. His breath caught in his throat as he leant over her, his arms forming a barrier around them.

He felt like a moronic kid brother most of his life but right at that moment he felt like the man he wanted to be and he loved it.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam lay there for a while just watching her sleep and feeling better than he'd felt in...God he could barely remember this feeling he thought. Had it really been that long? He thought about Jess briefly and as always it made something inside him twist painfully. But, he'd moved on. He had to. He'd seen his Father fighting demons psycholiogical and literal all his life. He had always vowed that he wouldn't get trapped by bitterness. Now, as he looked at Emma sleeping peacefully without a thought of what may happen that day he was reluctant to wake her. Once they got up then the spell would be broken and their world would be filled with horror and pain once more.

Her eyelashes fluttered open and she looked at him with a smile.

"Were you staring at me Sam?"

"No." He looked a bit embarrassed, then, "Yeah, ok, maybe a little. Not very cool eh?" he winced.

She reached across and with a tug of his ear his face went to hers and she kissed him."Nah, but I don't need cool. I kinda like cute."

He laughed. "You think I'm a dork?"

"A dork doesn't do what you just did, believe me." She laughed back.

They kissed again but the sunlight had changed the mood and they were both thinking of other things.

After a little while Sam pulled her to him. "You know, Ethan's going to need a home when this is all over."

He could feel her sigh on his chest. "He has one. With me."

"Are you sure?"

"I learnt the hard way Sam that the ones that are meant to look after you aren't always the best at the job. Sometimes, family is what you make it. He may not know me but he's still Holly's son and I can't abandon him."

He kissed the top of her head. "I think I know what you mean. We're gonna have a fight on our hands though if we want to get him out of there safely."

"I may not do this every day like you and Dean, or even Holly. But I'll do whatever it takes to get him back."

"Are you sure? Because there may only be one way to do it."

He moved slightly and propped himself up on one elbow to look down at her.

"What is it Sam? Tell me."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They took a quick shower together and went to meet up with Dean in his room for coffee and to figure out a game plan.

He'd ignored the fact that Sam's bed hadn't been slept in. The jokes could wait til later. For now, he was all business.

He was pacing the room like a Military General on heat. "Ok, so we all know what we're doing right? We only got a short space of time to get in there, get Ethan and get the hell out of there before things get hairy."

Sam and Emma were sat at the small table nodding like good soldiers. "So, we have lists of things we need and Emma you're going to experience the joys of Copy Jack so knock yourself out!" He saw her salute."Cute. OK, so I'll drop you off and we'll meet in town at midday."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Later on that afternoon, Dean pulled up in front of the Briarson Medical Facility which was just a nice name for a loony bin if you wanted his opinion. He looked across at the imposing Victorian building and couldn't believe, again, that anyone would put a child in there, no matter how disturbed they were,

He turned to glance at Emma. She was wearing a black skirt suit and had her hair pulled back in a stern bun, he had to admit she looked good, but he could only see Holly when he looked at her.

"Ready?" he asked her.

"As I'll ever be."

Sam turned in his seat. "You don't have to do this, you can always back out."

She smiled at him confidently and leaning across she kissed him on the mouth."No chance Winchester."

Dean watched them and felt like a knife had been thrust into his chest. He struggled to catch his breath as Emma got out of the car.

Sam watched her walk away, the briefcase in her hand swinging slightly. He turned to Dean.

"You ok? Dude, what's up?"

Dean turned the key in the ignition, his jaw clenched. "Nothing Sammy, I'm fine."

Holly walked into the main entrance and felt her heart jump into her mouth. The place was like something out of a nightmare. There were bars and electric gates everywhere. There was an armed guard at the entrance and the orderlies all looked like bouncers in the Bronx.

_What the hell? C'mon Em, you can do this, this is Holly's son we're talking about._

With a confidence she didn't feel she flashed a badge at the guard at the front desk. "Assistant DA Carrie Fisher, here to see Dr Meddiford."

The guard looked her up and down as though trying to imagine her chained to Jabba the Hutt in a gold bikini. Emma grimaced inwardly, cursing Dean and his stupid pseudonyms. Snapping out of it, he glanced at his log book and nodding at an orderly he released the first door which slid open with a whoosh. She was searched and her bag checked. Satisfied, an orderly walked her down a dark sterile corridor and up a flight of steps.

Despite the fact that this section was still guarded this was merely the administrative area.

The orderly stopped at a door with the Doctors name written on it and knocked bruskly three times, almost matching the beating of Emma's heart.

She heard the order to come in. The orderly opened the door and she took a deep breath.

When she walked in she didn't see what she had expected. She'd expected decor mirroring that of the rest of the building, but this office was warm and comforting. Wood panelled and covered in books, there were picture frames of degrees littering the walls. The man who stood up from the desk was also not what she'd expected. She'd expected an older man but the one in front of her was only in his late thirties and attractive in an Anthony Edwards kind of way. He shook her hand firmly.

"Miss Fisher, it's nice to meet you. Take a seat. I have to say, you're a lot younger than I thought. You know, for a DA."

"What can I say?" She smiled."The wonders of botox." Ignoring his frown she opened her briefcase and removed a file. "I'm here to talk about Ethan Conrad."  
The Doctor sat back in his green leather chair and steepled his index fingers under his chin. She hated when people did that, like they wanted to seem important or something. Trying to keep her blood pressure in check, she made a show of looking at the file.

"A very troubling case. Really, I haven't seen anything like it. You try to keep an open mind in a job like this but sometimes you come across something such as this..."

She cut him off. She knew enough about men to know when one was putting on an act to get in her pants."The boy is five years old Doctor. I have to tell you that at election time, the DA is concerned that if his incarceration came to light then..."

"I understand." He said sitting forward. "But this isn't your average case."

"I am aware of that Doctor..."  
"Mike, please."

"...we just feel that he should be moved somewhere more...appropriate."

"It was a court ruling."

Thankfully Sam had briefed her on what to say and she felt a flush come to her cheeks as she thought of him. "Doctor Meddiford, the DA is looking into a lot of similar cases at this time. I just have to come down here, do a brief assessment and report back on my findings. I am aware that his adoptive parents signed his guardianship over to you. Would you mind taking me to him?"

The Doctor sighed and stood up. "Ok, I'll take you to his room."

Emma's heart was pounding as they walked back down the corridor and up a further flight of stairs. Now this was the hardcore stuff she managed to think as she looked around her.

The Doctor seemed unfazed. "You know, if we'd have caught Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer when they were five, a lot of people's lives might have been saved."

"You think the best place to deal with a five year old is here?"

"All I'm saying is better to deal with it now rather than later when he's incarcerated for murder."

They walked to the end of another corridor and Emma made an mental note of everything she was seeing. Coming to a door marked 459 the doctor removed a key and opened it.

Inside, the room was bizarrely like any other childs bedroom. There was even a Spongebob comforter on the bed. She was taken aback.

"See, we're not really monsters."  
"I'll reserve my judgement."

The Doctor went over to the bed and getting onto the floor he threw the covers away from the floor and glanced underneath. "Ethan, there's a nice lady to see you, want to come and say hello?"

Slipping away from the bed the Doctor stood up and a little boy crawled out of the space.

Emma's heart almost stopped.

The little boy in front of her was the spitting image of his mother. She felt a tear come to her eye and concentrated hard on blocking emotion from her mind. He had the same brown curly hair, big green eyes and full mouth. The only thing that was his fathers were the eyes that bore a hole straight through her.

There was nothing to suggest what lay behind those green eyes was the mind of a five year old boy and she almost recoiled in horror.

_Snap out of it...you have a job to do_

"I think I've seen enough Doctor." She turned for the door and took another deep breath.

Doctor Meddiford joined her outside locking the door behind him. "Yeah, it gets you like that the first time. I trust that will be in your report?"

_Smug bastard..._

They were going back down towards his office when she paused. "Sorry, Doctor Meddiford...Mike, could I please use the bathroom?"

He smiled, picking up on the fact she'd used his first name. "Sure. Down the hall."

She trotted down the hall and found the toilets. Opening the door, she dashed in and braced her hands either side of the sink. Catching her breath she turned on the tap and splashed her face and neck with water.

After regaining her composure she said her goodbyes and walked out to the parking lot. Looking behind her, she ducked into a small copse of trees and taking off her heels she started running. She didn't stop until she saw the Impala which was parked a distance away. As she approached, she stopped and saw Sam and Dean get out. Walking more slowly toward them she was panting heavily when she got there.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked. "Did you see him?"

She was struggling to get her breath. Sam put his hands on her waist and placed her on the hood of the car.

"I...saw...him...oh my God."

"What?!" Dean was impatient.

"It's freakin' scary is what. But oh my God, he looks just like Holly." Her head went into her hands. "We have to go get him...room 459. Please, just...go get him out of there and get that psycho out of him!"

Dean's jaw clenched. "Don't worry Emma, we'll go get him. I swear." Dean said, and this time he meant it. He'd let Holly down and he sure as hell wasn't going to let her son down too.

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Emma sat in the driving seat of the Impala and waited. It seemed to be taking forever and she was trying hard to focus,

Sam and Dean had gone in a while ago dressed as orderlies, It had been the easiest way in. It was a big place and with the right credentials and uniform it was easier to try and get in legitimately than try to burrow underground. They were going to have to break into Ethan's room, drug him and get him out of there without hurting him.

Her heart continued to pound and she couldn't help but think what would happen when this was all over. Was she strong enough to take on a child that had committed such acts? She knew it wasn't him really but at the same time, she had to wonder whether she would have any maternal instinct. Her head hurt. Taking the pin out of her hair she shook it out and felt some of the tension slip away.

She was broken from her thoughts when she heard her phone bleep once. Without pause, she cranked the engine and drove down the block.

As if like clockwork, when she got to the back door they were there. Dean was already running toward the car, Sam following with Ethan unconscious in his arms.

She slid quickly across the front bench and Dean took the wheel. Sam jumped in the back and she glanced at him.

"Is he ok?"

Sam had a scratch on his face, he managed a tense smile. "He will be."

The last couple of hours had been fraught but as she sat in the front seat she couldn't help think that the night was going to get a hell of a lot worse.


	8. Chapter 8

...Phew! So here's the final chapter in the Dean and Holly saga...I think. I find it harrowing to think of it as the end. I tried to fit in what I could, hurt/Sam, bitchin, angry, angsty/Dean. I took plenty of liberties with the supernatural element but I trust you won't hold it against me!

I gotta say, I was asked by a certain someone if it would make her cry. I'm not even that emotional myself, I just write this stuff! But I have to say that I did cry at the end...and I knew what was coming!!

As always when I write I have my music on. During the exorcism I was listening to Rock You Like a Hurricane by the Scorpions...which put me in a badass Dean mood (seriously, listen to it...totally Dean!). At the end I cheated and it was Silent Lucidity all the way (maybe hence the tears!).

Anyway, I want to thank the regulars for following this far and just hope for some reviews!! If you know of anyone else who might like it then please pass it on. The only thing I'll lay claim to is Holly in all of this...

...I'm traumatised...I need a drink...!

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They had needed somewhere secluded for the exorcism and Dean had staked out everywhere that he could think of until he had found an old abandoned house in the countryside. It was perfect, miles from anywhere and with plenty of space. He had gone there earlier in the day to leave everything that they needed.

Getting out of the car, they made their way into the old farmhouse. Sam was still carrying Ethan, when they got inside he placed him on a mattress on the floor.

"When's he going to come to?" Emma asked.

"Soon...he needs to be awake when we do this. We don't have a shot otherwise. It's kind of a once only deal." Sam explained. He went to her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Are you ok?" He asked her.

She looked at the peaceful little boy and nodded distractedly. She couldn't believe what they were about to do.

Dean was lighting candles busily. "Sammy, you better get ready. Once he wakes up, I have a feeling the shit's gonna hit the fan."

Sam nodded and like Dean before him he removed the orderly uniform he had been wearing so he was just in his jeans and tee. He went to a bag in the corner and started to retrieve books from his duffle.

They had already painted the symbols required on the floor and began to arrange the candles and ingredients in the order that they needed them. Emma swiftly took off her heels and suit, unembarrassed she changed into jeans, vest and boots.

A gust of wind blew through the room and some of the candles flickered making the hair rise on the back of Emma's neck. She glanced around and noticed that Dean and Sam had stopped what they were doing. Looking at each other Dean nodded to Sam giving him silent instructions.

Sam went over to where Ethan lay and gently began to restrain him using lengths of scarves rather than rope. Tying them to the undeside of the mattress he pulled at them to make sure they were secure but not too tight to hurt him. It wasn't going to hold him for long but hopefully long enough.

They all paused for a second. "What now?" Emma gulped.

"Now, we wait." Dean said simply.

They didn't have to wait for long as things started to happen very quickly when Ethan began to awaken from his drug-induced state. Realising that he was tied up he struggled pathetically at first as he was still groggy. Once he got going though he started flipping out. Big time.

Emma took a couple of paces backwards but Sam and Dean both looked cool.

"Hit it Sammy." Dean ordered.

Sam opened the book he held and moved to the edge of the circle he had created and started his incantation.

The air began to move quickly all around them as he began to speak the latin phrases calmly. Ethan had started to make an unnatural gutteral sound, like an animal caught in a trap. His legs were kicking and his head was moving from side to side. Dean walked quickly over and put his large hands to the little boys shoulders. Like an epileptic, he was thrashing about. He was going to hurt himself.

Breathing heavily he looked up at Dean but the eyes weren't Ethans, they were something else entirely. Moving forward Emma put her hands on his ankles and he kicked out at her with a ferocity that was astounding.

"You bastard!" He yelled into Deans face in a voice that wasn't his.

"Yeah? Right back atcha." Dean answered, slightly weirded out he was saying it to a five year old.

Sam continued to chant and with each word muttered the child got stronger. Emma was pushing on his legs with all her might.

"I'm going to torture you all slowly and watch you die."

Dean grimaced, when were people going to stop saying that to him? He tried to ignore the rantings.

Suddenly a chair that was lying abandoned in the corner flew across the room crashing into Emma. She was thrown backwards off the boy. She landed with a thud yards away, knocked unconscious by the impact.

"Emma!"

"Keep going Sammy! She's ok." Dean yelled over his shoulder. He hated to admit it but he didn't know if they could pull this off. He hoped Sam was right about his plan. No matter how hard it was going to be, he just wanted this over with one way or another.

Before long the old wooden house had started to shake, Dean ducked a flying table leg. Walden wasn't going without a fight, that much was obvious and he didn't think that Ethan would last much longer.

A roar came from the little boy and Dean was flung to a wall six feet away. Ethan, now released stood up and growled over at Sam who was frantically trying to finish the reading. Dean couldn't get up, an invisible force was holding him in place and he couldn't make it to his feet. He watched his little brother face up to Walden on his own and gritting his teeth, tried to push away from the wall.

There was a rumbling sound and a large crack. Sam stopped for a second and looked up in time to see the ceiling give. His reflexes were good but not good enough. He couldn't escape the falling timbers and with a massive cloud of dust, he was engulfed by the rain of wood.

Dean heard a yell of pain come from his brother "Sam!" straining to escape the hold over him, Dean realised he was powerless to help him.

The dust settled and he could see Sam lying on the ground winded, but still conscious. Wood was scattered all around him but with a struggle he pushed most of it away. Dean's relief was short lived when he saw that a huge beam had fallen on top of Sam and was pinning his legs to the ground. Sam groaned and tried to lift it, but it wouldn't budge. He was trapped, and the book was out of his reach.

Dean knew he had to do something...anything.

"Hey, Walden, come over here you evil son of a bitch. You wanna hurt someone, cause some pain? Well, bring it on! I'm in the mood for a little one on one!"

Ethan turned around and with a flick of his head Dean was sent sliding across the floor, hitting the opposite wall head on. He was dazed but shook it off, knowing that every moment Walden concentrated on him bought his brother some time. He struggled up onto his elbows and grinned "That all you got? That's weak!"

The little boys eyes widened as if accepting a challenge. He was getting stronger by the second, the angrier he got. Dean didn't care, he'd deal with anything that was thrown at him if it would help Sam.

Emma put a hand to her head and it came away covered in blood. She peered through the red mist and took in the scene. Ethan was up and was facing Dean on the other side of the room. Dean was against to the wall and unable to defend himself against a torrent of blows thrown at him by an unseen force. His body was taking a pounding and he had a cut on his brow that was swelling badly. She looked over at Sam and saw him held to the ground by the huge timber. He was straining his body to try to grab the book which was just out of his reach. His face was creased with effort but his fingers couldn't reach it. Quietly she crawled on her hands and knees over to where he lay, taking a second to glance over at Ethan. He still had his back to her so she moved quicker. She reached the book in seconds and handed it to Sam who sighed in relief. He lay down flat and holding the book over his head, tried to fight the nausea he was feeling as he continued his reading. He was right at the end. He didn't have any time to waste, once Ethan was free then he would have to begin the next part.

Spurred on by Sam's actions Emma tried in vain to lift the object trapping him. Try as she might, there was nothing that she could do. She looked down at Sam who had finally finished. He threw the book to one side and sat up giving her a look. They both grabbed at the timber and heaved but, it barely shifted. Emma wasn't strong enough and Sam was weak and couldn't get the right purchase on it. He gave up and nodded over to his bag in the corner. "Get the other book, The key of Solomon." he ordered. He turned around as far as he manage and could see Dean lying on the floor beaten to a pulp. They had no time to waste; the first incantation had taken effect and Walden had been freed. Ethan was growling and fell to his knees as the spirit of Oscar Walden emerged raging from the little boys body.

Sam had seen plenty of angry spirits before, ones that were capable of a lot but this had to be the strongest he'd ever seen. When Emma came back he grabbed the book from her and began the second part of his plan. She sat on the floor behind Sam and used her body to prop him up, knowing instinctively that he was struggling to keep his strength.

Ethan had fallen to the ground now, his little body free but spent by the ordeal. Momentarily able to collect his thoughts Dean ignored the pounding in his head and the ache in his ribs. Until Sam could finish the next reading, he was all that stood between them and Walden. He felt no pain or fear, just the sweet release of adrenaline in his system. He rose to his feet and now that he was no longer facing a child he felt the fight come back to him. He looked at Walden through slitted eyes filled with hatred. He was one ugly bastard and Dean felt familiar rage as he thought of the man's hands on Holly. "We got a score to settle."

Walden had recovered from the shock of being released back into the role of a spirit and looked over at Dean with something akin to glee in his eyes. His hand raised and without touching him he grabbed Dean by the throat and pulled him off his feet laughing. Dean's feet kicked and he grimaced, tightening his neck muscles as much as he could to take the strain off his windpipe. He could hang on all night, if that's what it took, he thought. Anything to get one over on this prick.

Hearing his brother finally go silent however, he knew he wouldn't have to.

The air changed yet again and he closed his eyes as the sudden gust of wind threw dust into them.

"Get your Goddamn hands off my man."

The voice was unmistakable. Dean opened his eyes and looked over Walden's shoulder. He'd known this moment was coming but had not expected the feelings that washed over him. Holly was stood in the centre of the circle that they had painted on the ground earlier. His chest tightened and it was nothing to do with the fact he was being half strangled. Holly was wearing the same nightdress she had been wearing when she'd died. This time though, there was no blood on it and her body was whole. Her long brown hair billowed around her and she looked overwhelmingly beautiful. He forgot what was happening for an instant as he took a second to think about how much he longed to touch her again.

Emma's heart was pounding so hard she thought her chest would explode. Having done what he had to do Sam was barely conscious and she had his head cradled in her lap, absent-mindedly stroking the hair away from his face. Oh God...she couldn't believe that she was looking at her sister again. But there she was; not Hayley, not Holly, just a vision of power and serenity.

Walden dropped Dean who fell to his feet with a thud. Slowly the killer turned around with wide eyes at the voice that was so familiar to him. "You?!"

Holly's apparition walked toward him "I would say 'in the flesh' but we both know that if that were true I wouldn't be able to do this." Throwing back an arm she punched him in the face.

If Dean had been able to, he would have laughed out loud. Damn, even dead she was a firecracker!

Walden screamed and went to retaliate but she flickered out of sight for a brief moment, reappearing behind him. She took him by the throat and turned him to face her. "You're done with hurting people Oscar, I've come to send you home." His eyes narrowed but she remained calm.

Shadows flickered around the room and Dean frowned as he watched them come to life all around them. There was a hissing sound that seemed to permeate the air and he put his hands over his ears. The noise got louder and he saw genuine fear in Walden's eyes.

"They've come for you Oscar." Holly said releasing him. taking a few paces backwards. "You put me through hell all those years, now it's your turn. Somehow though, I doubt you'll be coming back."

The air suddenly exploded and Emma leant over Sam to protect him from the blast all around them. Once it had gone quiet again, she looked down at him, he was hanging in there, barely.

She looked up and saw her sister bent over the body of her son, still lying unconscious on the ground in a foetal position. There was a look of regret in Holly's eyes as she laid a hand over his head. She knew she couldn't touch him but the look said she wanted to with all her soul.

Dean, had crouched down during the explosion, but now he stood up once more, taking his hands from his ears.

He looked over at Holly with the son she'd never known and felt something in him break. It destroyed him that she hadn't had a better life; free of torture, pain and evil. She'd deserved a life with a real husband and kids that she could love and hold. Dean was sorry once more that he hadn't been able to give her that.

She stood up slowly and turned to him. She looked at peace for the first time but she was still his Holly and he felt himself falling in love all over again. "You did it Dean. Thank you."

He felt tears sting his eyes and his throat choke up, but he smiled anyway "It was all you Holly."

She smiled back but there was sadness there."Don't underestimate yourself Dean, you always did." Her hand went to his face and he could almost feel it. "My little boy's going to do some amazing things with his life because of you."

He glanced at Ethan and frowned. "How do you know that?"

"Because I know you. You'll look out for him the same as you do for Sam. You don't have to be his father to teach him how to be a man. "

"Holly, I..."

"Dean, don't. We said our goodbyes remember? The one thing I've learnt is; with us it's never the end."

A tear escaped from one of his eyes as he looked at the only woman he knew he would ever love. She was right. Again. She flickered again and glanced over at Sam "Your brother needs you now Dean. It's time to put your game face back on and do what you do best."

He sniffed, nodding briefly.

In an instant she was gone.

Taking a second to collect his thoughts, he ran a hand down his face feeling it come away wet. He'd lost her again and the pain was overwhelming. He wanted to be with her so badly it physically hurt. He couldn't give in to it though, he had to be strong, as always. It was his burden and he accepted it without question.

Finally, ignoring the pain in his chest. he took a deep breath. "It's ok, Sammy." he shouted. "I'm coming. I'll get you out of there."


End file.
